All Knotted Up
by kashudoreineko
Summary: Woven into the manga if you haven't read it, you'll need to. Why Mizuki really leaves.
1. Default Chapter

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

Now for the explanation:  
I'm trying to make this fic fit into the real story by Hisaya Nakajo. You'll need to read the manga for everything to make sense. Sorry if you don't like it, but it's worth reading, and Hisaya Nakajo deserves us all to go out and buy her books!

I know there are places where the timeline is a bit tight, but allow me artist's license. I will be providing you with chapter notes for when my story pops into the manga - so you can keep track. In  
case you're interested.

Also for those of you who keep track, the time length between the start of this story and the graduation that ends the manga is three weeks. This will make sense after you read the whole story. And away we go…

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 1

Note:This takes place between chapters 134 & 135 of the manga.

"So, to what do I owe the interruption this time, Mizuki?" Umeda's words were a bit harsh, but that was to be expected. He buttoned up the fly on his pants after tucking his shirt in, and glanced up just as his lover was about to leave. His visitor smiled and winked as he walked out the door. 'Well at least I can look forward to a pleasant dinner later – I know he's just as frustrated as I am right now. And it serves him right. He knows I'm not to be interrupted during work.'

"Uh. Um. Well, I'm sorry… I really didn't mean to interrupt, and I guess I can come bac-"

"It's too late for sorry. You know you really are a pain in the ass. But what's one more time? What's on your mind? Sheesh. It's not in my job description to counsel any but the 3rd years. I think I'm going to ask for a raise."

"Um…" Mizuki looked at her feet. And Umeda could see the blush starting in her cheeks and flushing out to the rest of her. "Maybe this was a bad idea. Just forget I came." As she turned to run out of the office and away, Umeda caught her arm and pulled her back.

"Now you've got me intrigued. I've never seen you look timid before. Sit. Talk. That's what I seem to do for you anyway, listen and advise. You're not getting away now until you tell me what's got you so flustered. And remember… I can tell when you lie!" He gave her his "wise counselor" face, one eyebrow raised – but spoiled it by smirking at the end.

"Well… I'm really embarrassed… I was in the locker room after karate practice, and one of the boys from first dorm was talking…" She flushed and looked down, then away toward the door – could she make it? She was faster than anyone at the school… But it wouldn't matter. He'd make her spill it eventually. She sighed. "He was talking about his girlfriend, and he said something that I didn't understand. He said… He said that she… she liked it when he… tied her up and… she pretended she… she pretended she didn't want him to do stuff and he did it anyway. And other stuff like that! But I don't understand? Why? How could someone like it forced on them and if they like to be forced, then it wouldn't really be forced, so why would they like it? It just doesn't make any sense? And…" Once she got going, it all came out in a torrent – like usual. But then, at the end, she remembered the summer at Io's house, and the fear she felt. Almost as a whisper: "And how could anyone enjoy someone doing stuff when they don't want to?"

If he hadn't heard from Io what she suspected had happened to Mizuki when she was helping out last summer, he would have chuckled. But if there was anyone who knew the fear of real rape without actually having been raped, it was her. He was glad that punk hadn't gotten away with it – that Sano had stopped him – but this sweet girl was so naïve. He wished that the event had maybe helped her wise up a bit. He sighed, dragged his hand through his hair, pushing it off his face. No. It was better that she maintained her pure attitude toward life. But now this would lead to difficulty for her later in life if she didn't get past the fear that was probably still there inside her.

In an uncharacteristic gesture, he reached down and squeezed her shoulder and smiled at her.

She looked up at him with simple trust in her eyes – waiting for her Sensei to teach her.

Umeda sighed again. Smiled at her again and said, "Well, Mizuki. Let me use an analogy: Do you like roller coaster rides?"

She looked confused as she said, "Uh. Yeah!"

"Well, you know the rush you get when you're going down a tall, steep hill at breakneck speed? You get that rush because it's scary, right?" She nodded. "Well, it's scary, but do you ever really think that you're in any real danger?"

"Well, no. I mean they test it out – it's just a ride."

"Right! Well, when you've got someone you really and truly trust, someone you know would never hurt you, it can give you a similar rush when you give up complete control to that person. Whoever you heard talking from the karate club, probably is dating a girl who really trusts him. So – like a roller coaster – she gets a thrill from giving up control. She's not in any real danger. She might even have a code word – something that she'd never normally say – like 'gladiola' – and if she says that at any time, she knows that he'll stop what he's doing immediately. Does that help explain it?"

She looked down at her feet. "Uh. I guess."

"I guess usually means no. Okay, let's try this: Imagine Sano."

He smirked as she started to turn bright red.

"Now, do you think he'd ever do anything to hurt you?"

She glared at him. "Of course not!"

"Right. So if you were tied to, say, your bed when Sano came back from class, and maybe gagged so you couldn't make any noise, and you were maybe only wearing some sexy underwear and that's all," It was so fun to make her turn that red… "and there was a note that said that you trusted him to do or not do whatever he wanted – that you were giving up complete control to him – do you think you'd find that exciting?"

She didn't answer because she was trying too hard not to keep the blushing from spreading any further down her torso – it was making her tummy feel too warm.

He smirked again. "And if he's like every other boy on the planet, I can tell you that he'd probably turn as red as you – for about the 5 seconds it would take before he'd be all over you like white on rice."

She looked down. Then at the door. The red started to fade as he watched her thinking.

'Ah! There it is! There's the seed that I've planted taking root! I do hope that boy thanks me for finally helping him release some of the stress that he's been building up over the past year.'

He smiled at her, took her hand, and pulled her to her feet.

"Now that I've answered your question more thoroughly than you deserve, could you leave my office so I can get back to work?" He pushed her out the door of his office and closed it behind her.

X X X END SCENE X X X

The rest of the day would have amused the hell out of Umeda if he'd been there to see it.

Lunch saw Mizuki sitting and chatting with Nakatsu and Noe over some soba noodles until Sano walked in and sat down next to them, whereupon Ashiya promptly began choking on her noodles and turning bright red - not capable of looking anyone in the face. She quickly excused herself and practically ran out of the room – meal half-eaten left behind. "I'm still hungry, but I guess I'll go get some bread," she thought as she sprinted out of there and made the track team shake their heads in regret that "he" still refused to join the team.

During class, she happened to glance up and see Sano and the next half hour went by without her even noticing. She looked at his lips and remembered what it felt like when she kissed him. She looked at his strong shoulders and thought about how it would feel to touch them. Then she thought about him touching her. How it would feel if he were to kiss her – to kiss his way down her neck. How would she react if he touched her breasts? Would he try to kiss them? Would she want to touch him? Would he let her?

And what about this trust thing? Was Umeda right? Would he really like it? Should she – did she want… was she ready… were THEY ready? 'He's known I'm a girl for a year, even though I didn't know he knew. And how many times did he sleep right next to me, knowing that and yet not doing anything? Maybe he isn't interested in me that way. Maybe he just thinks of me as a friend. But he said he wanted to stay by me. Just like I said I want to stay by his side. So, did I mean?...' The enormity of what she was thinking hit her like a ton of bricks. She felt all the blood drain from her face. 'I did. I do. I love Sano. Even if I can't stay by his side forever. I want to be with him now.'

"Uh, Mizuki, are you feeling okay?" Nakatsu had gotten up and had his hand against her forehead, checking for fever. "You're looking a bit pale." His face was filled with concern.

"Nakatsu-san, would you please take your seat? Class is not yet over."

"Sorry, Sensei. I just thought Mizuki looked like he was going to pass out and I was concerned."

"Really. Please take your seat. Ashiya-san, if you're not feeling well, I would suggest you either visit Dr. Umeda or go back to your room. After all, you haven't been paying attention at all today anyway, so missing the rest of the class shouldn't be any more of a problem than staying. And this way we might be able to restore some order."

"Sorry, Sensei." She stood to apologize and say that she felt perfectly fine to stay, but then she saw Sano looking at her with concern, and she felt herself blush, then she thought about what she'd been thinking about and the blood drained from her face again. Sano looked like he was ready to spring out of his seat to catch her if she fell. She stood up straight. "I believe I… must be coming down with something. I'll… go back to my room. Please excuse me for interrupting class."

"Psst. Do you need me to come with you?" Sano whispered at her. Without looking at him, she shook her head no in his general direction and left the class with her head down, not looking at anyone as she left. 'If I catch anyone's eye, I'll either burst out laughing, or I'll start crying. I'm that worked up.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

Back in the room, she laid down and tried to sleep. But all that floated through her head was images of Sano. How many mornings had she woken up in his strong embrace? She remembered what it felt like when he carried her and held her after that slime bucket tried to rape her. 'There is one place where I know I'm always safe. In Sano's arms. That's it. That's all there is to it. I want to be with him. I want him to know how much I trust him. And if he doesn't want me, that's okay, too. Because if I don't take this risk, he'll never know that someone trusted him this much. And I'll never know if he… If he feels about me… the same… way…" With that thought she fell asleep.

X X X END SCENE X X X

When dinner came, she was ravenous. And Nakatsu was greatly relieved to see that she was okay. That she was eating did wonders for making him believe that she truly was feeling better.

'God, I am so glad Sano had practice tonight. Otherwise, I don't think I'd be able to eat, and I didn't eat anything at lunch today.'

She ate a full meal – enough to make her feel completely sated, but not full. 'I really want to look beautiful tonight. If I'm gonna do this. I think I am. I am going to…'

X X X END SCENE X X X

Sano would finish practice, grab a bite to eat, then he'd come back, take a shower, do some studying, then go to bed. She opened her small locked suitcase – the one that held her girl clothes – for when she went back to visit at home. There was one set of underwear in there that might work. She remembered when Julia gave it to her the last time she was at home. "Hey! I know he doesn't know you're a girl. But when he realizes how wonderful you are, he's not gonna care. And when he sees you in this? Trust me. You'll be glad you have it on hand."

She held the electric blue panties and strapless bra up to her frame, looked in the mirror and breathed, "Julia. Say a prayer for me, and I hope you're right."

She took a bath and took great care to make herself as clean and soft as she could. She brushed out her hair til it shone, and then put a blue ribbon from the trip suitcase in her hair to hold most of it back. A bit of lip gloss and then she was done with hair and makeup. She slipped on the blue panties and bra and looked in the mirror. Not as full a figure as one might hope, but still. I really do look like a girl. She wrapped a towel around her mid section to cover up the underwear. Then stepped out into the room.

"Dang it! I forgot to lock the door!" She ran over and locked it – thinking about the last time Nakatsu burst into the room looking for her. 'Thank god. I really have to be more careful.'

She sat down at her desk and completed all her studies – pushing all thoughts of what was to come out of her mind. When she was done, she looked up at the clock. 'Oh no! Sano should be back in 15 minutes!'

Racing around the room, she pulled out four ties from their school uniforms. Blushing, she thought of something else and pulled out another.

Then she went over to Sano's desk to compose a note. She didn't have much time, so she just wrote what she felt quickly – without taking time to talk herself out of it. Then she went over to his bed with the ties. First, she tied each of her feet to the corners at the foot of the lower bunk bed, and put a blanket over her feet so the ties didn't show. She draped the blanket so that when he walked in, he wouldn't really see her, so that he'd just assume she was asleep on the top bunk with the curtains closed.

Then she put the fifth tie she'd pulled out – the older, worn one that she'd been meaning to throw away – into her mouth as a gag. 'I don't want to talk. If I can talk, I'll get nervous and say something stupid. This will be better.'

She looped a tie around her right hand, and then tied her left hand to the bedpost over her head. Still with the towel around her, she was now almost fully spread out on the bed. She pulled the pillow partially over her head – to block from immediate view the tie on her left hand, and the ribbon in her hair. With only her right hand free, she wrapped the remainder of the tie around the bedpole at the top right of the bed, and then forced it with her fingers through the loop that was tied around her wrist.

'There. Now if I need to get free, I can just pull hard and this will come loose so I can free myself. And the door is locked so only Sano can come in. And because it's locked, he'll think I've already gone to bed. Now to pretend like I'm asleep-'

Perfect timing. She heard Sano's key in the door. He entered the room and saw that she'd left the desk light on for him. She was always so considerate – always thinking about him. She knew after practice he'd want to study. And after she wasn't feeling well during class – for her to be thinking about him… it made him feel warm inside. 'I wonder if she knows how hard it is to live by her side and not kiss her every moment of every day. But she probably doesn't think about me that way. She loves me, but she wouldn't want to do anything. And that should make me feel happy inside, not sad.' He looked at the light on the desk again and thought, 'It does make me happy.' And he quietly crept to the bathroom to take a quick shower. Once done, he slipped on his pajamas and went over to the desk to study. He made quick work of it. The less time with the light on, the less chance he'd disturb her sleep. 'Because when she wakes up, she has a hard time sleeping in her own bed, and it's getting harder not to take advantage of her when she's sleeping in my arms. God, I love her so much.' Only in his private thoughts had he ever been so truthful about his emotions concerning her.

Shutting his book after he was done with the last of his reading, he reached over to turn off the light, and saw a note leaning against the lamp addressed to him.

"Sano. I've lived by your side for over a year now. And if there is only one thing certain in my life it's that when I'm in your arms, I feel safe. You know now. You know who I am – what I am, and you know that I've said that I want to stay by your side always. You've said that to me, too. But what I haven't said, I haven't said because I was scared it would change something. But now, I want to try because I don't want to look back and think 'If only I'd told him how I really feel.'

"I wasn't really sick in class today. I just was thinking too much, and it was making my head spin. That happens sometimes when I think about you.

"A year by your side has only made me want to be with you more every day. I want you to know how much I trust you. I trust you to always take care of me. And should you decide you don't want to take care of me, that's okay. I'll still be here for you – because I love you no matter what.

"But I wanted to show you that I trust you. In every way. I heard about this and I'm nervous about this, but I wanted to show you that I trust you, so if you want to, I'm waiting for you. If not, that's okay, too. But if you do, I'm in your bed, and you could maybe join me there. I'm writing this because if I tried to say it, I'd have to look in your eyes, and then I'd get lost and nervous and I'd just mess it up. Or chicken out. And I don't want to chicken out anymore. I'm yours to take.

"I love you, Sano.

"Mizuki"

He set the letter down on the desk and slowly turned toward the bed. As he neared it, he saw over the piled up blanket. Her form was covered around her midsection by a towel, but anyone paying attention would be able to tell she was a girl. And there was a blanket at the end of the bed covering her feet – they must have been cold. He looked at her lying there, and noticed she was breathing heavily, but it wasn't like she was asleep. Her breast was heaving. But he couldn't clearly make out her face – it was obscured by a pillow.

Slowly, he walked closer to the bed – like a man drugged, or mesmerized. When he got near, he noticed her left hand was actually tied to the bedframe. 'What? What the…' He moved the pillow and saw the tie acting as a gag. Her clear eyes shone up at him. She was truly terrified, yet she seemed almost pleading. He glanced up her right arm and saw it, too, was tied to the bed. He turned to the foot of the bed and moved the blanket to see each ankle neatly tied to the frame. She was spread eagled, and waiting for him. He turned and looked at her face, she tried to give him a smile through the gag, but she was afraid of what his reaction would be. Then, he saw her square her shoulders and get her determined look on her face – "It's okay. Either way, I'll be okay. I'm showing Sano how much I trust him, and that's all there is to it." He knew that's what she was thinking. That's just so her… So…

"Ashiya." He breathed out her name as his hand reached out toward the towel. He'd wanted to truly see her for so long. "I… Is it okay?" He looked at her and she nodded at him. He released the towel and saw her spread on the bed, looking at him with trusting eyes. In bright blue – his favorite color. Although there wasn't much blue there, really.

He looked at her sweet face and noticed she had on lipgloss and a ribbon. "I want to be a woman – I want to be your woman," was what she was saying to him without words.

He reached to remove her gag and she shook her head no and gestured toward her note. "I'll just say something stupid and mess it up. So do what you want. I trust you. We can talk about it later, right?" Right.

He stroked her left cheek, and let his hand graze down her neck to her breast. So soft. He climbed up on the bed and straddled her waist. Reaching down, he stroked with both hands up her neck, and stopped with both hands behind her head. He kissed her cheek, up to her ear, and whispered, "You don't have to say a word. And you don't have to worry you'll mess it up." His hands untied the gag. 'If I don't kiss you now, I think I'll explode.'

His lips claimed hers. Not a light gentle kiss, but one filled with all the longing that they both had been burying for so long. When they finally broke for breath, he began kissing her up to her ear, nibbling on it. Lying next to her, kissing her, his hands roamed up and down her body, gently stroking her side, fingertips brushing her as if afraid that if he touched her more firmly, she might disintegrate. He'd kissed her before, but he never had touched her. Not even when she was sleeping in his arms and he stayed up all night just looking at her.

As his fingers brushed over her hip, past the blue lace there, she shivered and sighed his name, "Izumi." Hearing her say his name, her voice laced with desire sent fire through his veins. His Mizuki calling his name.

"Ashiya. If you say my name again like that, I'm going to end up taking advantage of you. Do you know that?" He traced her with his finger, from her brow, down one cheek, down her neck, down the center of her chest, between her breasts, over her bra, down her tummy, to her navel, in her navel, out of her navel, down to the edge of that flirty blue lace. His finger went just slightly under the lace and started tracing her along the edge of the panties.

"Oh, Izumi," she breathed. He jumped off the bed in one swift movement.

"I'm not kidding!" He turned around to her, and his eyes flashed. "I'm only human!" She could see that he wasn't kidding by the bulge in his pajamas. "And I'm a man!" He was fretting around the room, trying to burn off some energy. "You're just so reckless!"

She swallowed hard. "Do… do you not want me like this? I thought…"

He stopped and turned toward her. "You thought what?" he yelled as he slammed his fists on either side of her shoulders, his head only inches from hers.

She looked into his eyes, tears beginning to form in her own, and bit her lower lip. "I just wanted to give myself only to you. I thought you might… We would…" She looked away from him, trying not to cry.

He got up and went to the foot of the bed and began to untie her feet. Then he walked to the head of the bed and began to untie her there.

Under his breath, "I don't want to be the only one here when I make love to you for the first time. I want you to make love to me, too. I need to feel you around me, not just under me."

Then he walked over to the end of the bed and sat down and placed his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees. "Don't you know how hard it is for me not to take you every single night? Don't you know how much I…? I won't take advantage of you."

She sat up and wiped away her tears. Then she crawled to the other end of the bed and sat down there. "But, Sano, if I want to, then how is it taking advantage?" She pushed him back and straddled his waist, and she could feel him stiffen further. She leaned down and kissed his cheek.

"I trust you, Sano. And I want to be with you now and always – in every way." She placed her forehead on his chest. "I've fallen in love with you, Sano Izumi. And the question isn't even if you love me, too. The question is if you want me. Because if you do, then you can have me. Even if you get bored with me later, I'd just go back to America, and no one there cares whether you're a virgin or not, so…" Again, as she got started, she picked up speed. Until he cut her off with a kiss.

"Idiot." He rolled her over so she was on bottom. "Don't you know you're all I think about?" He held her tight in his embrace. "If you ever left me, I would dry up and die. You ARE my life."

A tear slid down her cheek. "Izumi," she breathed, and he instantly kissed her passionately. Then worked his way down her neck to where her blue bra just barely covered her perfectly shaped breasts. (AN: He agrees with the boys in Weird Science – any more than a handful is a strain on the tongue.)

He gently massaged her breasts and she moaned. Kissing back up her throat, he then whispered in her ear, "I told you if you said my name like that again that I wouldn't be able to control myself."

He looked in her eyes and said, "If you don't stop me now, I don't think you'll have another chance." Her eyes grew wide as saucers as she saw the dark heat that had built up in his. Then she smiled softly up at him and whispered breathily, "Izumi."

He smiled back at her and then attacked her with a kiss. Positioned between her legs, his pajama clad hips ground into hers. She lifted her hips to meet his and moaned at the contact. Her hands came up between them, as she started unbuttoning his top. She'd finally get to touch him at last.

Tongues dueling, he moaned as he felt how much she wanted him. His shirt was pushed off his shoulders as her hands caressed up his chest and over his arms. Pushing it off the rest of the way she began kneading his back, pulling him closer to her she lifted her head up to kiss him more fiercely. Her hands ran down his back. Reaching his pajama bottoms, her hands went underneath both the pants and his boxers to grasp the ass that she'd pretended not to ever notice for the past two years. Massaging gently she thought, 'My hands just fit here perfectly. It's like he was made for my hands to be here – or my hands were made to fit here.'

The action of her hands moving to his exquisite derriere caused his clothes to shift down, and the cool air caused him to shiver. He broke from kissing her, straightened up and pushed his pants and boxers down to his knees, then shrugged them off the rest of the way, throwing them across the room toward the bathroom.

She looked up at him, kneeling above her, unclothed and glorious. 'He's so beautiful!' Eyes trailed down his broad shoulders, amazing chest, ripped abs – "Gasp! Oh my God!"

He saw her eyes widen with amazement and just a touch of fear. He grimaced a bit with embarrassment, then, as he looked at her lying there in bits of lace of his favorite color, his expression changed to an almost predatory grin. "Only YOU do this to me, Ashiya Mizuki." Murmuring, he added, "more often than you know."

"And now, fair is fair." He pulled her bikinis down her legs, which she lifted to help them come off. Once removed, he held the blue lace up on one finger, looked at them then her. "I'm a little nervous knowing you've got these. They give you a little too much power over me." He tossed them over toward the bathroom.

He leaned into her breast, freeing it from the lace prison. His hands reached behind her, unlocked the clasp, and pulling the ends free, it soon joined the lower mate on the floor.

He pulled back and let his eyes take her in. So unbelievably "Beautiful," he gasped. "My God, you are beautiful."

She blushed and looked away, down. Simulataneously, he reached down to touch her, tracing his finger along the contours of his body, and she tentative reached out to him. He gasped and she pulled back. "No. Please." He took hold of the hand that had frozen in between them and brought it back. He looked in her eyes. "I want you to touch me. I want to touch you. I want… I want…"

Drawing strength from his words, she reached out again, cutting off his ability to speak and replacing it with a moan. He wanted her to feel that way too: his hand stroked down her belly, circled her navel, and ran down further still.

They touched each other to show how much they loved each other – to release some of the frustration they'd been living with, being so near and so uncertain for so long. She looked up at him, dazed.

"Are you sure, bishoujo-koi? I really don't want to have to take another cold shower. I've gotten pretty sick of those this past year. But one more won't hurt – if you're not… not ready."

She smiled up at him. "Cold shower?"

He shook his head at her. "You really are troublesome. How do you think I've survived the past year waking up next to you every day? I've gotten to the point where the water needs to be like ice to help anymore."

"You really… really wanted me?"

He rolled his eyes. "Baka!" Then he leaned down and kissed her thoroughly. He held himself above her, looked into her eyes and said, "What do YOU think?" She swallowed deeply, and fell lost into his eyes. Looking in her eyes, silence filled the room.

He held himself still above her and growled, "I cannot remember a time when the only place I really wanted to be was with you. But I thought you didn't want ME." He moaned, forcing himself to stay under control. She saw him visibly pull himself together and he groaned, "I need to know you want me first. Otherwise, I'm going to need a bathtub of ice."

She nodded at him, but he pulled back. Snarling, he said, "No. TELL me."

Never breaking from his gaze, she swam in his eyes, and in a voice huskier than he'd ever heard from the girl who had pretended to be a boy she snarled, "I. want. YOU. Izumi. Now. Onegai!"

He smiled and breathed, "I love you, Mizuki," and they were finally one – as they'd both been dreaming of for so long.

"I love you, Mizuki."

"I love you, too, Izumi."

Utterly spent, his elbows gave out on him and he laid on top of her. The weight of his body pressed against her, pressing her down, so that she knew she couldn't move if she wanted to. She was trapped, yet what she felt was safe, and loved.

His head snuggled into her neck, and they fell asleep cuddled together, he lying on his side, her in front of him – like two spoons. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tight to his body. "…never let you go…" he sighed.

'I will always be yours, Sano, for as long as you want me,' she thought as she fell asleep again.

His last thought before drifting off: 'This is why I got so jealous of Nakatsu. Because she really does belong to me. And I belong to her. Now that I have you, Ashiya, I will never let you go.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	2. Chapter 2 Don't Hold Back

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 2

Note: This part of the story starts in the manga at Chapter 139, Page 291.

"Whether you like it or not, if there's a chance to be dragged into something, you will. There's that rumor going around right now. Just being cautious is not enough. You have to prevent something from happening as much as you can." He was so scared, that he started off by yelling, but as he goes through his tirade, he calmed down. By the end, it was more of a lecture.

"…but…"

"So then nothing will happen."

"So you're saying I shouldn't meet anyone, talk to anyone, and just close myself off?" She stomped her foot at him, she was so furious. "I know I'm being selfish, but I want to stay in school with everyone! I want to make many memorable memories with you!"

Sano looked at her, then away, and responded quietly, "I'm sorry. I said too much. But… if possible, only go places where I can reach you easily. And if something like today happens again, just follow my lead and do what I say.

"… … I… I want to graduate with you, too." He looked out into space, but the longing on his face was very clear.

…

…

…

"Okay. …"

"And… If you want to show me love… do it only in front of me." Sano pulled her into an embrace."

"Ah… Okay." It's strange. Even though they've shared love, whenever he holds her, she still found it really hard to think clearly.

He smirked at her answer and slyly teased, "Are you SURE about that simple answer?... Then I don't have to hold back and I can do things to you?" He held her tight and one hand slid down and grabbed her butt.

"! You… You PERVERT!"

She pushed away from him, and tried to glare at him angrily.

He smirked at her again. "You're calling ME 'pervert'? Hey! I'm not the one who tied myself to a bed to seduce someone."

"Hey! I thought you liked that!"

"So I said. I'm just saying that I'm not the one who did it…" He was still teasing her, but then he became a bit more serious. "Anyway, you only did that because you were scared to make a move on me. It's not that you really wanted to be… at my whim."

"Are you saying that I don't trust you?"

"No. I'm saying that it was a one-time deal, both you trying it and me letting you off the hook. You'd never have the guts to do something like that again." He walked over, incredibly close to her. Once close enough to almost kiss her, he tapped her nose and said, "And you should know that if you ever did do that again… I wouldn't hold back." He held himself still, close to her until she visibly swallowed – hard.

Before she could blink, he'd already turned his back on her. "I'm taking the first shower," he called over his shoulder, chuckling.

She stared at him as he walked into the bathroom. Her heart was beating so heavily, she was amazed that the books weren't being rocked off the desk by the soundwaves. She swallowed again.

'He… he wouldn't hold back?

'Does that mean he was holding back last time?

'Does… does he want…

Then she thought of something else and started to get angry. 'What does he mean, I'd never have the guts?' Before she even could notice what she was doing, she had walked over to the door. But it'd already been locked by Sano.

She pulled out the ties again as she heard the water start. She looked down at the ties in her hand. A flashback of Sano over her, looking at her with unreserved passion in his eyes, looking truly like… like… the word escaped her. Perfection? Beauty personified? Every good quality that one can hope for in a man? Her heart beat a little faster.

The next thing she knew, she was sitting on the bed, in her blue lace bra and panties again.

"Power over him, huh?" She smiled and blushed.

She tied her feet in place again. The motions were so much quicker this time, because she wasn't struggling to figure it out. Both feet, blanket over them, one around each arm and she then the loop on the right, tied the left to the post, wrapped the right loop around and tucked it. She left off the gag so he could kiss her.

X X X END SCENE X X X

In the bathroom, Sano rested his head against the shower wall.

'I shouldn't tease her like that.

'But she's just so easy to tease.

'And, she's such a tease to me and she doesn't even realize it…

'I hope she understands that I meant it. If she were to ever try something like that again, I don't think I could hold back.

'God!' He stopped as an image of her in her blue lace underwear played over again in his head. 'She doesn't realize that every time I'm near her, I have to fight to not see her lying underneath me in that outfit.

'I swear. I think I need to burn that outfit.

'Or kidnap her and hide her away somewhere just for me and make her wear nothing but that…' He groaned. 'She's right. I AM a pervert.'

He turned off the shower and began to dry himself. He put on his sweatpants, and then looked at himself in the mirror. 'What does she even see in me, anyway?' He stuck out his tongue. 'It's almost ridiculous.' He brushed his teeth. 'She needs to learn to be a little more cautious though. The next few weeks are going to be the toughest yet…

'I don't want her to get found out. I want her to stay here. I want to hold her and protect her forever. I want her to be with me forever.' He's noticed his heart has started to race. 'Damn. I'm excited again. I'll have to calm myself down while she's in the shower.'

He opened the door and walked into the room. "Your turn." Surprise – she was nowhere in sight. He turned around to see her on his bed again. Jaw dropping, and he took a couple steps toward the bed. There was no towel on her this time, nothing blocking her from his view. He took a couple more steps toward her. She looked at him and grinned.

"Ashiya, what are you…"

"You should know better by now – I don't back down from a challenge." She glared up at him defiantly. "I'd never do it again, you said." She flashed a devious look, and challenged, "And you won't hold back? Whatever that means…" She visibly considered what that could potentially mean and swallowed hard again, making her look incredibly vulnerable. Her chest heaving, "So you were holding back last time?" Her words were defiant, but he could see that she was just blundering boldly forward, and had no clue where this could lead.

"Ashiya…" he breathed.

"I trust you, Izumi. With my life. And my love. I'm yours."

"Ashiya…"

She gulped one last time. "Don't hold back." She flashed him an awkward grin, then threw back her head, never ceasing to stare at his beautiful eyes. "Or didn't you mean what you said?"

He looked at her with raw passion blazing fiercely in his eyes, and she gasped at his intensity.

He growled, "You shouldn't tease me, Mizuki." He walked to her feet, and worked with the ties. "You don't seem to realize how many times a day I have to force myself to NOT think about you."

He leaned over to the other foot, and she tried to move her first foot, expecting him to have removed the tie only to find that what he'd done was tie it more securely.

"Wha – what are you doing?"

He moved over to her right hand. The one she'd only looped. She pulled her hand away, and the tie began to loosen.

"Ah – ah – ah!" He grabbed it and pulled it back to the bedpost, and retied it. Very securely. "You said you trust me." He then focused his attention on the left hand and re-tied that as well.

Once done, he looked over his handiwork, proudly. "There. Now, you truly are under my control – OH! Forgot something." He walked over to his bureau, and when he came back his right hand was behind his back. He leaned in and kissed her. It started softly, but gradually, it crescendoed until it was filled with the passion that she awakened in him every day. His right hand slid out from behind his back, and with it came the tie that it held. As he broke off the kiss and she gasped for air, he put the gag into her mouth and tied it tightly.

"Heeh. Hfuh Ah huu Doohmph!"

He looked at her with an evil glint in his eye. "I can't have you waking the rest of the dorm."

With that, he reached down and began to tickle her. She squirmed underneath him, pulling against her bonds and screaming against her gag. "MMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmaaaaaaaah!"

He chuckled. As she writhed beneath him, her hips reflexively moved underneath his. His hungry eyes feasted upon the image of her moving, struggling, wearing nothing but his favorite color – as a gift to him.

He stopped tickling her and waited for her movements to still. Then he stretched his long frame over her body, just barely keeping from lying down on top of her, and whispered into her ear, letting his tongue occasionally dash out between his words to flick her earlobe, "Do you feel helpless?" He waited for her eyes to widen as that thought sunk in, then continued, "That's how I feel every time I see you in danger, surrounded by other men at this school, men who might not care if they hurt you." He moved his mouth to her other ear, not noticing the shock on her face, as she never had considered that. "I don't want anyone else to have you. I know that makes me selfish. But I don't care. I want you all to myself."

He kissed down her neck, lavishing attention on those spots that made her gasp through the gag. As he reached her chest, he began to massage her gently.

"This is my favorite color. But I don't think I ever told you that."

He pulled back, and smiled as she moaned in disappointment. His hands stroked lightly up and down her sides. "Did you find this outfit specifically so that you could torment me?"

She looked up at him, dazed from his attentions, and confused by his question.

As his hands stroked down the outside of her legs, he continued. "I had a hard enough time with my imagination before I saw you looking like this for me." His hands reached her feet, brushed across the bottoms, making her squirm. "Now, I find myself thinking of you at the most inopportune times." His hands moved to the inside of her legs and slowly started to stroke their way up. "Sometimes I think you were put on this earth to trouble me." He tapped his fingers on her thigh, playing as he thought.

"The question is, why do you go out of your way to trouble me so?

"And now that I have you completely in my control, what SHOULD I do to- I mean WITH – you?" His fingers continued to tap her, and she wriggled toward him. "Ah! You WANT me to touch you, do you?" He smirked at her, then lay down next to her, pressing his body against her side.

"I don't think so.

"You want me to not hold back? Okay. I won't hold back until I make you feel the way that you make me feel." He started running his fingers lightly down her sides again.

"Every time you fell asleep next to me, all I wanted to do was touch you. And now…" His hands continued to roam over her body. "Now…" His mouth began to trace kisses up from her shoulder to her hand, still tied tightly. He licked a circle at her wrist, and licked up to her finger. "I'm going to touch you everywhere." He drew her finger into his mouth and sucking on it, was pleased by her shiver in response. "And then…" He one by one sucked on each of her fingers, and finished up by kissing her palm. He then positioned himself on top of her, and put his face in front of hers, noses touching. "Then, I'm going to make love to you until we both collapse from exhaustion." He remained in place until he felt her swallow hard again. Then he winked, and began to allow his hands to run over her soft skin.

One might expect someone like Sano to cover her systematically – one hand, then the other, then down each arm – but he wanted to keep her guessing. And he wanted to learn every curve of her body, every nerve, and memorize it.

He kissed her left ear, then down her neck. His tongue lapped at her pressure points on her neck, making her gasp and jump. When he got to the place where her neck met her shoulder, he sucked gently and she let out a small moan. He kissed up and down the remainder of her neck, and when he got to the other side, his tongue lapped at the pressure point there and she released a small squeak that gradually built to a large moan as he then placed an open mouth kiss and sucked gently and nipped her slightly with his teeth.

As she moaned, he found himself responding in kind, "Mmmmmmmmmm." 'That's right, moan for me.' "You taste so good." He worked down her shoulder, and kissed down her right side, 'til he hit her ribs. Then he licked a trail across her abdomen to her navel. His tongue darted in and she gasped and struggled against her bonds. His hands ran up and down her sides and he continued to suck on her flesh. He left no part of her untouched, continuing to lick down her abdomen to her left hip.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm. I love to hear Mizuki moan."

He kissed down her long thin legs, using his fingers to tease and tickle and his mouth and tongue to add heat. At her ankle, he worked down her instep. Then he paused as he jumped off the bed – for safety's sake – and began to tickle her feet. She squealed and squirmed, but there was no escape.

Once she was out of breath, he stopped tickling her foot and licked up the sole and sucked her big toe into his mouth. She gasped. He sucked each of her toes in turn, and her moans, even through the gag, became louder. She pulled at her bonds and her back arched off the bed. He then licked his way back up her leg. The higher he got, the more she moaned and strained against her bonds.

He used every his deft hands to give her pleasure again and again.

She shrieked through the gag, and he was very glad he'd put it in place. She fell back against the bed, panting. 'My god, she looks beautiful,' and 'MINE MINE MINE,' he thought, simultaneously.

She looked almost feverish now with her hair all mussed up from her tossing her head about, panting for breath. But he wasn't about to let her down just yet. He whispered in her ear, "I love you Ashiya Mizuki," and then swiftly turned around. He bent over her to give her oral pleasure. His dedication to her pleasure brought her to higher and higher plateaus of ecstasy.

Wiping his lips, he sat on the side of the bed and spent several minutes just looking at her. She lay there with a spaced out expression on her face, panting. He smiled and thought, 'I never want to forget this… how she looks… I want to always make her look like this. I want to protect her and keep her.'

As the world of reality started to work its way through the stars that she'd been floating in, she noticed Sano was sitting next to her and staring at her. He had a dreamy smile on his face, and she started to blush. She turned her face away from him, embarrassed.

He lay down next to her, and with one hand, turned her head to face him. "Are you mine, Mizuki? Are you mine?" She fell into his big brown eyes and nodded at him. He smiled at her. "Miiiinnnnne," he murmured and kissed her ear, pressing his body against hers. She leaned her head toward him, trying to kiss him through the gag.

He rolled on top of her, positioning himself perfectly against her. He moaned again. "God, I want you," his voice was strained, heavy with desire.

She lifted to meet him, but with her feet tied down, there was a limit to what she could do. He moaned and sat up on his knees, leaning back. Each hand went back toward a tie, and he pulled them loose with a yank. Then grabbed her ankles and lifted them so that each knee rested on a shoulder. His thumbs hooked inside his sweatpants, and he pushed them down to his knees with a yank.

He leaned in over her, then paused and looked at her tentatively. "Okay?"

She nodded at him, smiled through the gag and said, "Do't hod pheck," and winked at him. Don't hold back.

He made love to her so slowly that it was almost painful. But the pain was so pleasurable. She moaned as he completed her.

He leaned up to kiss her forehead. "Aishiteru." He reveled in the sensation of her at his whim below him, around him. He kept his eyes open, burning the memory of her face beneath him into his memory forever.

She moaned with him, soon the sounds of their quiet, controlled moans completely filled the room, echoing softly off the walls and coming back to them, increasing their desire.

He thought over and over again, 'Aishiteru, Aishiteru, Aishiteru. I love you, I love you, I love you.' He kissed her neck, her cheek, her nose. His hand stroked her cheek, then, as he felt himself nearing the edge, he buried his face in the hollow of her neck, and mumbled, "Mizuki, Mizuki, Mizuki," and they both collapsed into each other.

They lay still for a few moments, exhausted. Sano then lifted himself up and kissed her cheeks, her forehead and her nose. He rolled over to one side, spooning next to her. He used his forefinger to trace down her forehead to her nose, which he tapped three times. He winked at her and asked, "Are you up for some more, or do you want to rest for a bit?" He could tell she was tired.

"Mum. Epht Ah PhNK. If Phtf OmmKay?" He smiled again and stroked her cheek.

"Yes. I think you probably should rest." He snuggled closer, and wrapped one arm around her middle – which then growled very loudly.

"Ha ha ha! I guess it IS dinner time, isn't it? But you do need some rest first. Tell you what. I'll go get some meals and bring them back here." He stood up, and threw a blanket over her, so that nothing unseemly was visible.

"Mu Guma Loff Ma Luk MIFF?" She looked up at him with her eyes wide – he was going to leave her tied up alone in the room? He was wandering around the room, putting on clothes that were appropriate for the cafeteria.

"You just rest. I kinda like knowing exactly where you are for a change. I'll be right back, and I'll lock the door. So don't worry." He took the gag off her and kissed her deeply, then put the gag back in place. "You'll wake up to a great meal – I'll even feed you in bed if you're very good." She rolled his eyes at him. He brushed the hair off her face, muttered, "So beautiful," and quietly left the room.

At the cafeteria, he explained the same way to the auntie who worked the line as he did to Nakatsu and everyone else: Ashiya had fallen asleep, and he didn't have the heart to wake "him", so he was getting a couple meals to bring back for them to eat in their room. No one suspected anything.

When he got back to the room, he unlocked it, brought in the trays and set them on the desk, and immediately went back and locked the door. He looked over at her. She had fallen asleep already. He uncovered the tray, and the smell of sweet and sour pork wafted toward her.

He sat down next to her, waking her up. He removed her gag and kissed her tenderly. Then he grasped her around the waist and pulled her up into a sitting position, her hands still tied to the bedframe.

He brought back one of the trays and balanced it on his lap. He lifted a piece of pork with his chopsticks. "Say 'Ah!'" She rolled her eyes at him and said, "Ahhhhh." He placed the pork gently in her mouth and watched as she chewed it. He continued to feed her, occasionally taking bites for himself. Occasionally, he'd tease her and pull the bite just out of reach when she tried to bite it.

They split the two meals, and he finished by bringing over a sweet dessert, which he fed entirely to her. When he was done feeding her, he placed the trays over on the desk, then came back with a damp napkin and dabbed at the corners of her mouth.

Before she could scold him for treating her like a child, he leaned in and kissed her again. The kiss was deep and penetrating, and she found herself becoming dazed again by its heat.

She didn't even notice that his hands were over at one bed post, then the other, freeing her from her restraints. She didn't notice until she felt Sano's soft hair under her fingers where her hands had unconsciously drifted as soon as they were free.

They wrapped themselves around each other, kissing, intertwining, trying to remove any space that might possibly be keeping them apart.

Then, he stopped and pushed her a little distance away and held her there. "Was that… was it okay?" He looked up at her shyly. "I… I know I probably should have just let you go and not kept you tied there. I just… liked the thought that I was making you… making you feel…"

She pushed in toward him, and threw her arms around him tightly. She whispered in his ear, "That was amazing! I never… you are…" Then she kissed him.

"So it was alright. You didn't mind?"

She looked down shyly and shook her head and smiled. No. She didn't mind. "But…" She looked away, blushing.

"What?" the concern in his voice was heavy, and he used one hand to guide hers back to look at his. His brow furrowed, and she could see that he was afraid he'd gone too far.

She blushed and closed her eyes and blurted out, "I like it better when I can touch you, too!"

He threw back his head and laughed, then buried his face in her neck, nuzzling her and murmuring, "Mizuki, Mizuki, Mizuki."

She giggled, then flashed her eyes at him. "Hey! You know what? Fair's fair! When do I get to tie you down and do things to you?"

"Maybe next time." He smiled at her and they spooned each other as they lay down to sleep for the night.

'I like the sound of that. Next time.'

They fell asleep smiling.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	3. Chapter 3 The beginning of leaving

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 3

Note:In the manga, Chapter 139 finishes up and runs into chapter 140 and 141. The next part of this story comes in at chapter 141 after Sano carries Ashiya to Umeda...

"It's nothing to be so worried over. Worrying about it won't make it any better – so just think positive. Right?" Nakatsu saw that she was still worried, and rightly guessed that she was worried that he might be mad at her – or that he wouldn't like her now that she's a she. "Besides, Mizuki is Mizuki." He ruffled her hair affectionately.

And they all found their thoughts racing:

Sano: 'God love Nakatsu. He always takes a positive attitude. Even when things are their darkest. But maybe that's just because he doesn't think things through enough to know that this is disaster. Now that so many people know, it's only a matter of time before Mizuki has to leave us. I bet he hasn't thought about that.' Sano ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

Mizuki just sat there with wide eyes: 'Nakatsu – you're such a good friend. Only you would accept that I've lied to you so long and barely even show that something's changed. Only you and Sano. I don't deserve such good friends.'

Umeda: 'It's really rare to find a teenage boy that bounces back so quickly. He really is resilient. I bet he's really relieved he's not gay. But really, how could he not know that? He's way too positive-minded to be gay.'

Nakatsu: 'She's got to be worried about everyone finding out. I bet if I go back and start talking to everyone I can head off at least part of the trouble.'

"Well, I'm going back to the library. We left all the other guys there, and they're probably worried, so I'll go tell them that you're fine." He left with a smile, thinking, 'That Sano is one lucky… Sigh. I'm so jealous.'

Only the door slamming behind him revealed any negativity in his emotions. And anyway, it could have just been his energetic nature and his eagerness to get back to the library to try to help fend off disaster.

"Sano, can you wait here in the sitting room. I just want to check Mizuki out – make sure that she really is okay." He took Mizuki by the arm and pulled her to a back room out of earshot of Sano.

"Mizuki, please sit down." He pulled out a penlight and started examining her eyes. "So, tell me. The cart bumped your stepladder and you fell off. Did you bump your head at all?" He finished with her eyes and started gently probing her skull.

"No… I don't think so. But I… Maybe I'm just remembering it wrong."

He stopped probing her head and looked intently at her. "What do you think you're remembering wrong?"

"It seems like after the cart hit the stepladder, I didn't fall off right away. I just… kinda panicked and then it was like I was falling down a dark tunnel. Then Nakatsu was… and… What?" She stopped as Umeda quickly stood up and walked over to his desk. He looked at his calendar and counted backward on it. Then he stopped tapping it with his pen and thought briefly. He stood up quickly, turned around and stared at Mizuki with his eyes wide.

"Whaat?" She cried at him. "You're freaking me out."

His surprise at her observation was apparent for just a second, then he went back to his business face. "Oh. No. Sorry. I was thinking that it's about time for Akiha to pay me a visit and wondering how I can keep him out this time." He turned around quickly and rustled in the cupboard. "Well, I know how much girls hate this, but… just to check… to… make sure you don't have a vitamin deficiency, can you please give me a sample." He handed her a urine sample cup.

She looked at it with distaste, then sighed and took it.

When she brought it back to him, he said, "Great. I'll take this, and if I don't find out what I need to know, I may want you to come back to give me a blood sample. Okay? I'll let you know when I know anything, but for now, I don't think you should worry about your health. Just make sure you're eating regular, well-balanced meals."

He walked her into the room where Sano was waiting.

"Well, you two. Just because Nakatsu found out, it doesn't mean that you've been caught. Yet. However, we can't deny that the boys around you in the library may also know."

"Anyway, I'm done here now. And I suggest that you end your day here as well and head back to the dorm."

Sano patted her on the shoulder and they walked back to the dorm. It was apparent that the story had gotten out because of the silence from most of the people they passed and from the stuttering comments from Noe and Sekime.

Sano guided her into the room. Their thoughts were the same: 'I'm not going to lose her/him now. But they're going to make her/me leave if it gets to the school staff. What am I going to do?'

She grabbed him from behind and hugged him tightly, resting her head against his back. "I'm sorry. It's just for a minute…"

He pulled her into his embrace. "You're so dumb." He said as he held her tighter than ever before. 'I want you to be with me forever.' "I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm glad we found each other." 'God, I love you.'

"You do? I feel the same way." 'Being able to meet Sano was like the most precious and wonderful gift. If I hadn't ever met him, I wouldn't be the person I am right now. I'm sure of it.'

"Hey, don't try to take all this on by yourself. If you do, then what am I here for?"

'Just to be by my side.' She reached up and touched his face. "Thank you." He leaned in and they kissed. 'Even if I have to leave, this makes it all worth while,' she thought as she smiled up at him. He poked her on the nose.

"Nature calls. Be right back. Then we'll go get some dinner, okay?"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Hey, Mizuki! This - Oh! SORRY! Didn't realize you were changing…"

"I was just taking my coat off."

Nakatsu returned their book bags to them, and then left so they could change out of their uniforms for dinner…

And things went pretty much as the book shows. Nanba stopped by to give them encouragement. They went to dinner and everyone was really weird. So they went out for udon, and the whispering was there, too.

They ate and went home. And tried to live their lives and hoped it will go away, but they knew it wouldn't. Deep down, they knew.

X X X END SCENE X X X

This takes us to chapter 142, page 15. In the middle of the page, there's a time break. That's where the next part of my story that isn't included in the manga continues...

The next morning, before they left for breakfast, Umeda showed up at their room with two loaves of bread for their breakfast…

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	4. Chapter 4 A reason

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 4

The next morning, Sano and Mizuki got up and ready like usual, but there was a dark presence in the room. Mizuki was just too quiet.

"You know, it's going to work out – one way or another. And I wouldn't change the past two years for anything." He pulled her into a big bear hug, then tousled her hair saying, "Let's g-"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Must be Nakatsu here to meet us for breakf-" Sano opened the door only to find Umeda standing there with two loaves of bread.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be up for a cafeteria breakfast so I brought you some bread." He handed them to Sano. Mizuki reached for hers.

"Ah ah ah! Not yet, troublesome one." They looked at him, confused. "I need a blood sample from you. Seems that the tests from the urine sample I took were inconclusive."

"Um. You need to take a blood sample?" He turned to Umeda, with fire blazing in his eyes. "What exactly are you checking her for!"

"Not to worry, Sano. I'm sure it's nothing. I just want to rule out anything dietary. If she's missing some nutrients, she could faint again, and I'd rather avoid that." By this point he'd rolled up her sleeve, wrapped the tourniquet and prepared the needle to take the sample. "Now. Just a little prick…" He glanced at Sano and smirked. "And we shall see what we shall see. Annnd… That's it." He pulled out the needle, put a cotton ball on it and placed a band-aid on top of it. "I'll let you know if I find out anything interesting. You should probably get to class."

And with that, he stood up and left.

They went to classes and the weirdness continued – whispering and people not looking directly at Ashiya. (this is ch. 142, page 16 and on.) Until Nakao got fed up and told the entire class that they were being idiots and jerks and that not a one of them could consider themselves real men – or real friends to the person who had given to all of them throughout the past two years.

And Mizuki told the truth to her friends and classmates. But instead of getting upset, they accepted her and moved on. All of them working to protect her.

The story continued straight from the manga. Her friends supported her through chapter 143. At the end of 143, Nanba came to visit them and let them know that the rumor has probably reached the school, but since they have no proof they probably wouldn't do anything. Yadda yadda yadda. Read the manga and you'll know more…

In chapter 144, things still continue on – they worked toward graduation. Some people gave her a hard time. Some people supported her. But, after page 13, there is another portion of what the manga didn't tell you. After Nanba gave her the flower committee blazer, after page 11, he had something else to say.

"Mizuki, one more thing. I spoke to my uncle today, and he asked me to find a way to let you know that he'd like you to stop by his office. He requested that you come alone. So…"

"Um… Okay. Thanks. I'll go over there today."

X X X END SCENE X X X

Here, we go back to the manga for pages 12 & 13. Noe explained the significance of the blazer to Ashiya, and yelled at someone from another dorm who made a snide comment about their dorm based on her being a girl.

At this point, we reach another section that the manga left out. Mizuki went to visit Umeda in his office:

She opened the door and went in to see him sitting at his desk, chin resting on his hands, staring off into space.

"Uh. Sensei? Nanba-san said you wanted to see me?"

He turned to her with a start. "Mizuki. Come in. Please have a seat." He walked over to the door and locked it as she sat down.

"I got the results of your blood test."

"Mm?"

He paced over to his desk and sat down, looking at her intently. "You are the most troublesome student I've ever met. Do you know that?" His voice was stern, but caring. She gave him her awkward half grin.

"I need to ask you some questions and you will be honest with me." She looked up at him, just waiting for him to go on. "Can I assume that… Do you remember when you asked me about that conversation you heard in the karate club – the one where the boy was bragging about his girlfriend liking to be tied up?"

She blushed and nodded.

"Can I assume that you decided to try something like that out with Sano – probably within three days of asking me about it?"

She blushed more deeply, nodded again, and mumbled, "It was the same day."

"Okay." He sighed. 'Damn. I should have realized that she wouldn't even THINK about protection…' "Ashiya, when was the last time you came in for Midol?"

She furrowed her brow to think. "Um… It was…" She stopped as the realization dawned on her. It was 5 weeks ago. Five weeks. FIVE. That meant she's a week late.

The color ran out of her face.

"I had a suspicion when you told me how you passed out in the library. You didn't fall and hit your head and pass out. You were bumped and startled and passed out and then fell. Now, the urine test was inconclusive."

He walked over to her, crouched in front of her. "But the blood test was very conclusive." He placed a hand on her knee. "I never thought I'd ever have to say this to a patient. This is just one of the reasons I went to work at a boys' school. Ashiya, you are pregnant."

She was silent.

"I know it's Sano's. So I'm not going to tease you about this – although this would be rich fodder for months! I'm going to be more serious with you, and more direct with you than I'm usually comfortable with. And I want you to listen to me very closely, okay?"

She nodded.

"Okay. You will not show for at least two to three months. You are only a couple days away from graduation of the 3rd years. I know you well enough to know you're most likely going to want to keep the baby, and you won't want to give it up for adoption. Especially since it's Sano's."

She looked at him shocked – and a bit offended.

"I SAID you'd keep it, don't look like that. But you're going to have a lot of thinking to do now, Ashiya. A lot of thinking. First is how to tell Sano. Second is how to leave the school without a huge scandal. Because you are going to eventually show, and there's no way you'll be able to hide THAT. Not to mention that you'll need to take better care of yourself for the baby's sake. You won't be able to be around these hooligan boys.

"And then, you're going to have to tell your parents at some point. There's a lot here that's going to be troubling for you."

At this, she didn't even nod. 'Why is it so disturbing that she's not talking 1000 miles a minute? Why do I even feel sorry for her – she made her own bed. Idiot girl!' "Sigh. Okay. Well, if you want me to, I'll talk to Io. I know she'd probably be willing to take you in if you're not ready to go back to America. And I'll keep an eye on your progress for as long as you need me to…"

She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Thank you so much, sensei. But there won't be a need. I do appreciate all you've done for me, and I will keep you in my heart always. I will never forget you."

She stood up and walked out, leaving him touching his cheek. He didn't notice that a tear had escaped his eye.

'So troublesome.'

We return to the manga here, where Mizuki goes up to the roof to think…

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	5. Chapter 5 Leaving

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 5

Sitting on the roof of the dorm, Mizuki let the wind blow through her hair, hoping that it would help clear her mind.

'After hearing Sensei say those words, it all clicked. It was like, OH! Yeah. Okay, that explains it.

'It's been a weird month. When the dorm heads found out, I thought it was all over. And it seemed like I gave up. Until Sano came and stood up for me.

'I never would have thought that he'd do that. I just kept thinking that once he found out that he'd hate me. But he knew all this time. And he didn't say anything because he wanted to keep me around.'

She smiled and leaned her head back against the railing.

'I never thought that would happen. I'm so glad I got the chance to meet him. And to be with him.'

She looked down at her tummy and put a hand on it.

'A baby in there. There's a baby in there. Sano's baby.'

She smiled dreamily. A vision of her sitting in a rocking chair with a sleeping baby in her arms, Yuujirou at her feet filled her thoughts. Izumi came home and walks up behind her, put his hand on her shoulder… leaned in to kiss her. He said, "How are my beautiful wife and son today?" She smiled up at him, but it's not Sano anymore that was there. There was no one there.

'Because it couldn't be Sano there – could it? I couldn't make him give up… anything. If I told him about this, he'd quit school to "do the right thing" and stand by me. He'd give up high jumping. And he'd go out and get some kind of job. And he'd be miserable.

'It's just wrong. He just can't know. Not now. He has to stay here at school.

'And Sensei is right. I will have to leave the school now. There's no choice. I have to leave now and quietly so that there won't be a scandal for the school. And if I leave now, then Sano doesn't have to find out.

'Maybe someday… maybe someday we'll meet again and I can… if he doesn't hate me…

'But even if I can't have Izumi, I'll always have a part of him now.'

"Alright." 'It's decided.'

She smiled sadly and got up to go back to her room. She bowed to the school, thanking the school and all her friends for taking care of her.

Resume manga at page 16 (ch. 144)

X X X END SCENE X X X

When she walked into the room, Sano greeted her: "You're late." It's obvious he was worried.

"Yes. A bit." Her brevity in answering was typical for her only when something wasn't right.

"What's wrong?" He kept his distance, sensing that there was something she needed to get through on her own.

"…Yeah. You know, I think it was good that I was able to come to Osaka."

Sano just stared at her. 'No.' It was like a rising horror as he realized that she's decided to leave.

"I was able to make so many friends here. With you and Nakatsu… Noe and Sekime… And everyone else. Not only that… I was able to become closer to people from other dorms too… I was able to meet everyone.

"I'm really happy to have had the chance to go to this high school. So…"

'She's going to leave. She needs to leave. It's really not fair to try to keep her here just for my own sake. It would be too hard on her…' He tousled her hair.

"I understand so don't say anymore." 'If you say anything else, I might not be able to let you go.' "You've decided this, so everything's going to be fine." He looked into her eyes and smiled for her – to help her be strong. "Don't give me that face."

She looked down. 'I want to tell him. I really want to tell him! How did I think I could leave without telling him?' "Sano…"

He pulled her into an embrace. "Jeez. You just can't listen when you're told to stop, can you?" She held him tighter than she ever has before.

'No. I can't tell him. I can't be selfish. But if I just hold him like this, it will be okay, and I'll be strong enough to continue.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

The next day, she got up early and visited Umeda.

When she walked in, Umeda was just staring out the window. He turned and looked at her.

"You've decided to go back to America."

"Yes. I have my notice of resignation for the school. I will be dropping it off after I'm done here."

"Will you be okay? Will your parents…"

"I don't know. But I know I can't ruin Sano's life. I'll go back to America. I'll raise his child. I'm so lucky to have been able to meet the one I love. And really, I'm lucky that I'm going to be able to have his child.

"I never really thought I'd be able to stay with Sano anyway. This makes the parting a bit easier – knowing it has to be done."

"You're not planning on telling him." An accusation.

"No. He can't know. You have to promise me! Promise that you won't tell him. That you'll do everything you can to not let him find out."

"Mizuki, I don't know if I can. I completely disagree."

"You have to promise me. Doctor patient confidentiality. You can't tell him."

He sighed. "I won't tell him. I wouldn't. But… God, you're such an idiot!" He turned dramatically and put his hands to head then pulled his hair like he was going to pull it out. "Don't you know that he's in love with you? The person you love most in the world loves you back. You're having his baby. Don't you think that would make him happy? Don't you realize how lucky you are?"

"Actually," she smiled awkwardly up at him, "I do. But if I tell him, he'll give up everything and try to take care of me. And I can go home. My parents will take care of me. My brother, and my friend Julia. They'll all watch over me. They may be upset at first, but eventually, they'll get over it and they'll support me.

"But Sano… He just started to make peace with his dad. Do you think his dad would be able to handle this? I'm not sure. I know his stepmom would probably be supportive, but he needs to have his dad.

"And what about his jumping? It's the one thing he loves. I can't be the cause for him to give that up. He'd end up hating me. And if that happened… I don't think I'd want to live anymore.

"Maybe someday I'll see him again. And maybe he'll understand that I left him so that he could be happy and have a good life. It's a risk I have to take. And… I'll always have a piece of him with me now." She patted her tummy and smiled down at it.

The motherly gesture was so tender and sweet that Umeda just shook his head at her.

"I still think you're wrong, but I'll respect your wishes.

"But…

"Write to me when you're back in the states. And if you ever need anything, do not fail to ask. And if you need another woman's advice, I suggest you write to my devil-sister. She may be pure evil, but she cares about you, and she's always full of advice. You may need it…"

Mizuki ran up to him and knocked him backwards two steps with a bear hug. Then she kissed his cheek – the opposite one to the one she kissed the last time – whispered, "Thank you for everything," and then ran out of the room, working hard at not crying.

He touched his (other) cheek, muttered "Idiot!" And then, he went back to staring out the window at nothing. He lit a cigarette, inhaled once, then held it in one hand. As he lost himself in a mixed up jumble of memories of his own mixed up love-life past and the past year and a half mentoring Mizuki, the cigarette turned completely to ash, unattended.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Back in the manga, Ashiya went to the principal's office and tendered her resignation. She didn't allow the principal to say much of anything. Just handed it to him, thanked him for taking care of her, and then left.

As she exited the office, she sighed. Nakatsu, walking with Sano to class, saw her leaving the office and realized what had just happened: She's going to be leaving. No more chance. No chance that his best friend would screw up and she'd turn to him. No chance to see her smiling face every day. She's going to be leaving.

He grabbed her into a hug and cried.

X X X END SCENE X X X

She's already packed. She was ready to leave. It made sense. She'd sneak out quietly while graduation was going on. It would be better not to cause a scene. Better for the school. Better for her health.

She had one more person to say goodbye to, though. She walked to his doghouse.

She hugged Yuujirou, told him that Sano would continue to take care of him, and then left.

As she walked out of the dorm, she thought, 'Goodbye, dorm two.'

She turned to leave.

The entire school was lined up along the walk to see her leave.

Inside, there was a part of her happy to see them all. But there was also a part of her that burned with shame. She brought shame to the school. More than they even knew. And yet they honored her like this? Or were they just lined up because they were glad to see her leave?

"Sempai, what is this?" she asked the head of Dorm one.

"This is your graduation ceremony."

"Well then, wear this…" the head of Dorm three said, giving her a flower for her jacket, "and take your walk. Nanba has a car waiting for you at the end."

'They… they…'

Everyone sang the school song in unison as she slowly walked to the car – in a daze. When she reached the end, she hugged her friends, bowed to Nanba, promised Nakatsu that she'd see him again someday and thanked him for… well, for just being him.

Then she turned to Sano.

Sano.

"Sano…"

"Take care going home." He took her hands in his.

"Yes." She gazed up at him. All her hopes and fears were mingled together. There was no way to separate them and just hold on to the positive. He is her life and she was leaving it. There was no understandable path.

"That. And…" He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I love you, Ashiya. Once I graduate, I will come for you. I won't live without you. And when I come, I want…" He paused and leaned in again. "When I come, Mizuki, will you marry me?"

'If you still want me then,' she thought as a tear filled her eye, and a fleeting thought of him coming to her and finding her with his baby and him storming off in anger that she would keep this from him passed through. She waved her mental arms in the air and yelled "YARGGGGH!" at that thought, chasing it off and allowing herself to fantasize about being happily married to Sano.

"Yes! I'll be waiting!"

She turned to the rest of the school. "Everyone. Thank you. I'm so happy I got the chance to meet you all. I'm glad to have been an Osaka Gakuen student."

She got into the car that was waiting to take her to the airport. "See ya later!" she yelled from the window as the car drove off.

Sitting in the car on the way to the airport, she patted her tummy again. 'We'll see your father again before you know it, koi. And if he will have us, we'll go with him. And if not… we'll at least have each other.' She turned and looked behind her toward the school. 'Goodbye, Izumi. I will always carry my love for you. And your love for me will always be here. I'm going to miss you so much.'

As the taxi pulled up to the terminal, she started to cry…

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	6. Chapter 6 Julia

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 6

The stewardesses took special care of her on the flight. She cried the whole first hour – from boarding, through take-off, and through the first drink service. They all felt really badly for her. Several of them tried to engage her into conversation, but she was just not talking, so they didn't even know what was upsetting her. Just that she was going home.

Some of them thought she was crying because she was happy. A couple of them – some of the older ones – thought it was because she was leaving someone special behind. But none of them guessed that she was pregnant and leaving her lover behind without him knowing that he's even a father.

Eventually, she fell asleep. And the crew let her sleep. The poor child deserved some rest. When she awakened, one of the older flight staff got her a hot moist towel for her to wipe her face, brought her some juice. Which made her think of Sano. But she was done crying. There was no point in crying. She had to go on.

'We're about to land, but where will I go? My parents don't know I'm coming home. My brother doesn't know. What will I do?

'Julia! I can get her to pick me up at the airport. And I could probably stay with her for a day or two. And she'll help me think of something.'

With a plan in mind, she felt a little better, and asked the stewardess for something to eat. The request, punctuated with a LOUD stomach growl, was honored, and she had a nice breakfast meal.

'There. Do you feel better now?' she thought and patted her tummy.

"Ah, I take it you enjoyed the meal." The stewardess removed the empty tray and garbage, but completely misinterpreted the hand gesture.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Once on the ground, Mizuki gathered up her baggage, and then made her way to a pay phone.

"Hello, Julia?"

"Mickey! Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me…" 'Maybe this was a bad idea… but what else can I do?'

"Wow! This is a great connection! It sounds like you're so close!"

"Um… That's because I'm at LAX."

"What! You're in the states? How long are you going to get to stay?"

"Um… Julia, could you come pick me up? You'll want to bring the Explorer, though and not the bug… or maybe I can catch a cab and come over for a bit?"

"Wait. Your brother's not picking you up? … And you need a large vehicle… What happened? Did you get found out and expelled?"

"Um…" She tried not to cry, she really wanted to be positive, but she just can't help it. This was harder than she thought it would be. She stuttered out, "Can you… can you just come pick me up sob and I'll explain everything?"

Silence for a second.

"Sure Mickey. I'll be right there." She sounded firm and determined. And supportive.

"Thanks, Julia. I don't know what I'd do without you."

X X X END SCENE X X X

Ashiya dragged her baggage to the pick up area so that she'd be seen as soon as Julia drove up.

She sat on her trunk, and stared up at the sky, letting her mind go blank, completely spacing out.

It seemed mere minutes until Julia pulled up to the curb. She got out of the SUV, walked around to Mizuki and pulled her into a warm, enveloping hug.

"I really missed you, Mickey." She pushed her to arms length and smiled at her. "Let's load your stuff and get out of here." Once everything was loaded, she turned to Mizuki, placed her hands on her hips and said, "Okay. Now just tell me where you want to go."

"Can… can we go to a park and sit and talk for a bit?"

"Whatever you want."

They drove in silence. Mizuki wasn't really thinking, just sort of floating in the prolonging of the inevitable, not even trying to plan what to say. Julia just kept quiet, allowing the silent companionship to comfort her friend.

Eventually, they reached a small park – one that Julia knews, but that no one Ashiya knew ever came to. Mizuki smiled at Julia and they got out of the explorer and went over to sit on some swings.

They swung despondently for a few minutes. The sound of cicadas buzzing and a few birds singing was counterpointed by the squeak of the swing chains. Then, "I resigned the school.

"I was changing after a karate session, and one of the dorm heads saw me at a distance – saw that I was a girl. But the dorm heads decided to keep it quiet and allow me to stay.

"Of course, that's because Sano burst in to the private session with me and the dorm heads and told them that they should. Julia, he knew I was a girl the whole time!"

"Yeah, I know."

"What!"

"I kinda figured out that he knew when I was over there. But he was afraid you'd leave if you knew he knew, so I told him I'd keep his secret if he kept yours."

Mizuki shook her head, unable to fully process this new information.

"So Sano talked them into letting you stay?"

"Sano and Nanba."

"Hmph!"

"I know he came onto you really hard when you were there, but you can't blame him really. You're just too wonderful a person. How could he not be interested in you?" Julia rolled her eyes. "And you didn't really get a chance to know him. He's a really good guy. He stood up for me more than anyone other than Nakatsu and Sano."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He tried really hard to help me to be able to stay. Even after…"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Exasperated: "After WHAT?"

Mizuki paused and took a deep breath before she continued. "Julia, I love Sano."

"Well, D'uh!"

"After I found out that he knew… he told me that he wanted me to always be by his side. Forever."

With a big goofy grin, Julia reached over and squeezed Ashiya's hand. "That's so GREAT! I'm so happy for you."

Mizuki ignored her comment and continued on. "And we started dating. In secret. We didn't want the rest of the school to think that Sano was gay, and we couldn't let anyone else know that I was a girl.

"After a while, I made a decision. I would not look back. I would give myself to him."

Julia gasped, and Mizuki looked firmly into her eyes. "I wanted him to know that I loved him. I wanted him to have that to support him always. And I knew I would never love anyone like I love Sano."

"Oh, Mickey!" 'Why is she talking like she's defeated? What happened?'

"Julia, it was so perfect. He is so perfect." She stared out dreamily as she remembered what it felt like to have Sano make love to her – to have Sano call her beautiful and perfect. To have Sano mutter, "Mine" into her ear, like he was jealous that someone else might take her away. It still made her heart take flight.

"But Mickey, why are you here then?"

She looked away from her friend. Looked off into the distance, and said, "Because. I'm pregnant."

SQUEAK.

SQUEAK.

SQUEAK.

SQUEAK.

The sound of the swings was the only sound for several moments.

"You're…"

Ashiya turned and looked at her friend and grinned awkwardly. "Did you know that you're more prone to faint when startled after you get pregnant?"

Julia shook her head no – her eyes still wide.

"I was on a stepladder. Someone bumped it with a cart. I got dizzy and passed out, and fell off the cart. Nakatsu rushed to help me out. He was so worried when I didn't come to right away. He started to loosen my clothes so I could breathe."

"Oh, no."

"About 10 people saw. The dorm heads tried to help. Nanba kept getting called in to the administrators' offices about it. But the school had no proof, and it was so close to graduation. He kept telling me that if I could keep a low profile that it would blow over because the school wouldn't want a scandal – wouldn't want anyone to know that they'd been fooled into letting a girl be at the school for two years.

"But Dr. Umeda-sensei guessed from me telling him about how I passed out, and took some tests to find out if I was pregnant. He didn't tell me his suspicion until he was sure that I was.

"And by then, it was getting harder and harder. I told everyone in my class the truth about me being a girl. I just couldn't keep it from them any more. I told them. And they didn't hate me like I thought they would. They understood and supported me. And they protected me when boys from the other dorms tried to pick on me.

"But it… Staying strong through all of it… It was just too hard. And I knew it was hurting Sano, too. I had to go. And once I knew… I had to go. So… I left. And here I am."

Julia walked over and hugged her friend. Then she sat back down. "So, Mickey, what did Sano say?"

"He supported my decision to leave. He knew I'd made up my mind."

"WHAT! He was OKAY with you leaving with his baby?"

"Um… No… He doesn't know."

Pause… "Excuse me?"

"Sano doesn't know I'm pregnant. And Julia, he can't find out."

The look on her face clearly showed even clueless Mizuki that Julia thought she had lost her mind.

"He can't, Julia. He has to finish school. He has to jump. He has to work out his relationship with his father. This would ruin all of that for him."

"I just can't believe he let you go without… without even telling you how he felt!"

"Well…" Ashiya blushed and looked at her feet.

"Well, what? What aren't you telling me?"

"Uh. The last thing Sano said to me was… Um… He told me he'd come for me after graduation… and he kinda asked me to marry him."

Silence.

"Okay. Let me get this straight. Let me just see if I'm missing anything here. The man you love, the man you flew halfway across the world to meet, he loves you. He loves you enough that even though he knew you were a girl, and probably very vulnerable for most of the year, he never took advantage of you until he knew that you loved him in return. Then, you make love and you get pregnant, and you leave and don't tell him you're carrying his baby. AND, he asks you to marry him, and you say…"

"Um… I said yes, but I don't think that means anything now…"

"?" It's always interesting to watch when someone is so exasperated that they lose the capability for speech.

"Well, he may forget about me –"

"Humph!"

"And if not, by the time he comes for me, I'll already have had the baby. So he'll probably be mad at me. I figure he'll give up on me then."

"So why aren't you telling him?"

Angrily, she spat out the words, "Because if I tell him, he'll quit school for me. He'll leave his family and blow working out his relationship with his dad. For ME! And eventually he'll hate me for that. Julia, I would die if I thought he hated me. I'd rather he just never knew…"

"Well what makes you think that he won't find out some other way?"

"The only person who knows in Japan is Dr. Umeda. Doctor-patient confidentiality. And the only person who knows here so far is you. And you won't tell, because you're my friend."

"Mizuki… You know I don't want to hurt you. But you're going to have to tell someone other than me. You're going to have to tell your parents eventually. And your brother. And when that happens…"

"I'll tell Shizuki next. He's not going to be happy that I'm pregnant. And if I don't tell him that it's Sano's, he'll assume it anyway. So I have to tell him. But I think he'll help me. And then… I'll tell my mom and dad eventually. But if I ask them not to tell Sano, they'll respect my wishes."

"O-ka-ay. If you say so. So what do you want to do now?"

"Well can we go to your house? And then maybe you could invite my brother over to talk about me, and I can confront him there instead of at home?"

"Sigh." She shook her head. 'You know, I support you too much, Mickey. This is probably as bad a plan as you going to Japan. But then again, you did meet the man of your dreams there." She sighed. 'When I get Shizuki over, maybe the two of us can figure out a way to get through to you. And if not, we'll just have to plan on how we can get Sano to figure it out without telling him.' "Okay. Ready to go?"

X X X END SCENE X X X

Julia drew Mizuki a bath once they were at her house. As soon as she got Mizuki's call, she had told her parents that Ashiya might be staying for a day or two. As a decompression from Japan before going back to her own house. Julia's parents had been very understanding.

After Mizuki was nose deep in bubbles, Julia called Shizuki.

"Shizuki? Hi, it's Julia…. Yeah, Mickey's friend Julia. Mickey's… Um. I got a call from Mickey today. Can you come over in about ½ an hour? Please don't tell anyone that I called. Mickey'd be pissed. Okay?... Thanks, Shi-kun."

X X X END SCENE X X X

Julia let Mizuki soak for about 15 minutes, then called her out of the tub, had her dry off and get dressed and led her into the kitchen for a snack. As they finished up some tea and riceballs, the doorbell rang.

"That's Shizuki," Julia announced, standing up to answer the door. "Stay here, and don't panic."

After a pleasant greeting that Mizuki could hear – if only in muffled tones – Julia invited Shizuki into the kitchen for some tea. As they neared the kitchen door, Julia called over her shoulder, "Please come in. And please don't freak out."

She walked behind Mizuki and placed her hands on her friend's shoulders. Mizuki braced for disaster, looking more frightened that he'd ever seen her.

"Mi- Mizuki? What are…?"

Julia guided Mizuki to stand and pushed her toward her brother.

"Shizuki!" She ran to her brother, throwing her arms around him. She sobbed into his sweater.

Julia led Shizuki, who was now carrying Mizuki, to a chair where he sat down and pulled her into his lap. She continued to sob into his shoulder. "Nii-san. Nii-san." She cried and a part of her mind yelled at herself, 'I thought I was all cried out. What the hell is this crap?' And the other part of her mind yelled back, 'Shut up! I missed my brother.'

As Mizuki cried herself out again, and Shizuki worked to comfort her, Julia set the kettle on to boil again, and prepared the teapot to brew them both some hot tea.

This was going to be a long night…

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	7. Chapter 7 Telling Shizuki

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 7

All things considered, Shizuki took the news very well.

He was quiet and let Mizuki tell her story. She explained that she quit the school because everyone knew that she was a girl, because she'd passed out and a friend was trying to loosen her clothing so she could breathe and he'd kinda exposed her chest to about 10 people.

Shizuki did not yell or shout at the thought of his little sister's chest being ogled by 10 horny boys.

She told how the dorm head wanted her to stay and graduate – that the following year she'd have a room to herself, so it wouldn't matter, and that if she could just tough it out, she'd be free and clear the next year.

She explained how she tried to tough it out, how her friends all stood behind her, but how every day it felt more and more like she was letting them all down. They were all willing to support her, but she couldn't even defend them from the criticisms of all the other dorms.

And then there was the affect it was having on Sano. He didn't need that kind of stress. Especially not going into senior year. It was hard enough that he'd been keeping the secret on his own all this time.

"He'd known I was a girl the whole time, Shizuki! And he didn't even tell me, because he didn't want to see me hurt."

"I know."

"WHAT! You both knew and neither of you told me?"

"Mizuki, you were there. The whole time I was talking about taking you away with me, he kept calling you 'she'. If you didn't pick up on it, and he didn't clue you in, I wasn't gonna be the one to tell you."

"He DID?"

There were two sighs in the room, and they didn't come from Mizuki.

"So how did you find out he knew? After … the incident?"

"No. Before that, I kinda got seen by one of the dorm heads when I was changing after karate club."

"You were in karate club?"

"Yeah."

"But, wait… if a dorm head saw you…"

"The dorm heads were discussing what to do about me and I was telling them that no one else knew, not even Sano and… Izumi came in and told them that he'd known all along but that if I wanted to stay, what could it hurt?"

"Really." 'Yeah. I bet. He just didn't want you to go.'

"I was really freaked out that he knew, so I ran out of the room and Sano came after me, and… he said that he never told me he knew because he was afraid I'd leave and he wanted me to stay by his side." She stared off into space dreamily, remembering Izumi's strong arms around her. "When we went back, he talked the dorm heads into letting me stay."

"Okay, so the dorm heads were backing you, the school probably wouldn't have acted, you had only three more days to tough it out and you just gave up, even though you could have stayed with Sano? That just doesn't sound like you, kiddo. What else happened?"

Mizuki looked to the side, the floor, anywhere but at her brother. "Um. Sano and I started dating after that."

"Okay."

"And… I decided."

"Decided what?"

"That Sano should know how much I love him."

…

…

…

…

"I'll kill him."

Shizuki started to stand up, but Julia reached up to his arm, grabbed his sleeve, and pulled him back down. "She's not done yet."

He sat back down, glancing at Julia with a confused look, then he turned to stare at Mizuki – who was still looking only at the floor.

"I… I couldn't have stayed any longer at the school, nii-san… Any longer and everyone would know, and Sano would know, and so I had to leave."

He just stared at her. He knew what was coming, but he was hoping that he was wrong.

"Shizuki-nii-san. I'm pregnant."

He stared at her a couple more seconds. Then he stood up, turned her face up to him, smiled tenderly at her, kissed her forehead, stroked his thumb along her cheek. Then he began to stride to the door with a purpose.

Julia, however, sensing that he'd gone over the edge, ran and braced the door closed in front of him. "Ah, ah, ah! I don't think so, Shiz-nit!"

"Julia, I know you are my beautiful little sister's best friend, but if you don't get out of the way, I will have to move you forcibly."

"Yeah, right! Sit your ass back down in that kitchen, Shiz-nit! Mizuki needs you right now, and if you try to leave, you're going to have to get past me. She threw her arms out to the side, blocking the door, but also exposing her very full bosom and perfect figure. He saw her standing there, trying to be imposing but looking just… pretty and sweet, and laughed.

"Do you really think you can stop me? That… That… JUMPER hurt my little sister. And nothing will stop me. He. Must. PAY!"

Shizuki pushed Julia out of the way with one hand, and reached for the door handle, only to find himself on the receiving end of a full body tackle. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, grunting, "Get your sorry Shiz-nit ass back in the kitchen! Or you're going to have to explain to customs why you have a blond girl attached to your back."

Any other day, he would have found this funny.

He looked at her helplessly. "But… he HURT Mizuki," he whined.

"And you're hurting her now. Shizuki just get back in the kitchen. She needs you to be there for her." Her voice is pitched very low. He could barely hear her. But it got through to him. As he began to move to get up, Mizuki walked into the front room.

"Nii-san. Sano didn't do anything wrong. He spent an entire year and a half, knowing I was a girl. At least once a week, I would sleepwalk and end up sleeping in his bed, and he never did anything. He was a perfect gentleman at all times.

"In fact, thinking about it, there were many nights that he didn't sleep at all because of me being in his bed, and he never did anything. Never.

"Until I told him that I loved him, and that I wanted him to see me and take me as a woman.

"Sano Izumi is the man that I love. And I am carrying his baby. I'm luckier than any girl I know to have not only found the man that I love, but to have had him love me, and to have him give me a baby. Even if I can never be with him again, I'm just so lucky…"

She sobbed a little, and sank to the ground.

"How could that bastard let you leave with his baby?"

Mizuki was still crying, so Julia answered, "Because she never told him. She didn't want him to give up his life for her. She was afraid he'd come to hate her. She loves him so much, that she's willing to give him up in the hope that he'll be better off.

Shizuki looked at Julia, stunned.

"Hey, I'm just repeating what she told me. I don't agree with it either. But she made me promise that I'd never tell Sano."

"Well, she hasn't made ME promise."

"NO!" Through her sobs, she stuttered out, "If sob you hurt gulp Sano. If you sob tell him and gulp ruin his life, sob I'LL NEVER SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN!" She put her head on her knees, and wrapped her arms around her head and sobbed. "I'll never ever forgive you."

"Mizuki." The lost look in his eyes made him appear much younger than his age.

'Great! If only he'd kept his cool, we might have eventually been able to talk some sense into her. But now, she's dug in her heels. We'll never get through! Sigh.' With one hand, Julia stroked Shizuki's arm and whispered to him, "Go hug her and promise you won't tell him, and it'll all be alright, Shiz-nit." She smiled at him to take the sting out of the insult.

He slid over to Mizuki, and picked her up and put her in his lap, wrapped his arms around her, and whispered, "Hush, hush. It's okay. I won't tell him. Okay? We'll get through this together."

Julia replied under her breath, "Shi-kun. Now that's better." Without moving his head, his eyes went to her, and he smiled at her, mouthing, "You might want to adjust your skirt, killer."

"EEP!" She quickly adjusted so that he could no longer see her ice blue, lace panties, and blushed all over.

He smirked at her. 'She's just too cute. Too bad she's Mizuki's friend… And so young…' And then he turned back to his darling sister and continued comforting her until she stopped crying.

He was aware that she was acting more emotional than usual, but she was pregnant, so it made sense.

"Um. Mizuki? Are you worried about telling mom and dad?"

"A little. I know that they'll still love me and all, but they're going to be really disappointed that I lied to them about the school." He shook his head. They'd be disappointed that she lied, not that she'd gotten pregnant. That was just so Mizuki.

"Do you… Would you like to keep it a secret about the school?"

She smiled just a bit at him. That he'd be willing to continue to help her lie to them is huge. "No. I don't want to keep any more secrets than I have to. And the secret from Sano is enough. That's just to protect him, too, so other than the one I have to keep, I don't want any more secrets any more."

He reached over to pat her head. "You ready to come home then?"

"Can I take a nap first?"

He just smiled at her.

Julia tucked her in on the sofa and the blonde girl and boy made their way back into the kitchen to talk some more…

END CHAP


	8. Chapter 8 Julia & Shizuki

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 8

"So how long has she been here with you?"

"She called me this morning from the airport."

"I guess she was too afraid of my reaction to trust me." He felt a little bit betrayed by the fact that she didn't call him first.

"Well, you do tend to be excitable when it comes to Mizuki. But don't take it too hard. It also means she was more worried about disappointing you than she was about disappointing me. That means she values your opinion more."

"That's pretty nice of you to say, Ju-ju."

She grimaced at the name. It was a long standing thing between the two of them. He started calling her Ju-ju-bees years ago. When she complained, he said, "What? It means you're sweet like candy." But the glint in his eye showed that he was doing it just to piss her off. "And that you're such a shrimp, I could get you stuck to the bottom of my shoe – just like at the theatre." Eventually it got shortened to just Ju-ju. She on the other hand started calling him Shiz-nit only after she heard some fools at her school talking about waiting a minnizzle, and such. That was the year before Mizuki went to school in Japan. She thought it was a hoot that he was so white bread that he didn't even know that she was calling him a little shit. And using that "affectionate" nickname helped her to blow off… steam when he was around.

"Whatever, Shiz-nit." She tried to glare at him. She'd become very practiced at glaring – even when that was not what she really felt. 'But he really does have the most beautiful eyes. Whatever. Focus, girl.' "I can't believe you almost blew it completely there."

"What do you mean?"

"You've known Mizuki her whole life, and you still refuse to see that it doesn't matter what you think or how stubborn you are, once she's made up her mind, if you go against her, you'll just push her away. You almost blew it by going against her decision to keep Sano in the dark. Now it's going to be more difficult to get her to change her mind!" She crossed her arms in disgust. As a girl, she'd never really thought about how when she did that, it emphasized the size and shape of her breasts.

"What do you mean?" He was so angry that he almost didn't appreciate it. Almost.

"We have to get her to tell Sano."

"Feh! Yeah, right! She's better off without him."

"If you believe that, then you're an idiot. I always thought you were her smart and handsome older brother, but if you think she's better off without him, then you don't have a friggin' clue!"

'Smart and handsome?'

"Well, then, Ju-ju, since you're so clever and seem to know my sister better than anyone, why don't you explain it to me?"

"I will." It really was weird how as they were fighting, they seemed to be pulling their chairs closer to one another instead of further apart. "Mizuki is in love with Sano. She loves him more than anyone else on this planet. And that will remain true forever. Even after she has that baby it will be a tie. Because in her mind, Sano will be perfect forever. And the child will be her baby forever.

"AND there's one TINY little thing that she didn't tell you.

"Before she left, without even knowing she was pregnant, Sano told her that he would come for her after graduation, and he asked her to marry him."

"Wha!"

"Yeah! So he is in love with her, too. Now what do you think will happen when he comes back to her 1 year from now and finds her here with a 3 month old baby? It's going to be quite a shock to a 19 year old boy who's expecting to find our little tomboy flowerchild waiting for him. What do you think will happen?

"Will he think that she's fooled around and it's not his?

"Will he be so happy to see her that it won't matter?

"Or will he just be pissed because she kept from him the fact that she was carrying his child – that he HAS a child – and that she went through that all alone because she – what? Didn't want to be with him? Or didn't trust him enough to stand by her? Do you really think that the first thought in his head will be the reality: that she was so scared that he'd give up his life for her that she gave up hers instead – to protect him?

"Don't get me wrong. Sano's a great guy. And he loves her as much as we do. Maybe even more. And he definitely wants to protect her at least as much as we do.

"But if she doesn't tell him, then she really could lose him. And while she's stronger than she looks, I don't think she's strong enough to take that."

The silence in the room was palpable. Shizuki stared at Julia. He knew she was smart, but she really knew what she was talking about here. Except…

"How do you know that he'll get so mad?"

"Shizuki." She looked deep into his eyes, so she didn't notice him swallow hard at the intimacy. "If the woman you loved was carrying your baby and she left you and never told you. And you found out later. How would YOU feel?"

Pause.

"Shit."

"So. Tag team her?"

"Yup."

"But we need to be subtle about it, or she'll just dig in her heels more, okay, Shiznit?"

"You know, I really hate it when you call me that. It's not even a word."

"Yeah, yeah, white bread."

"Ju-ju."

They glared at each other and then both took a drink of tea so that the other one wouldn't see them blush.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Once Mizuki woke, they had a quick snack, then Shizuki said he'd drive her back to the house. After the trunk was loaded into Shiz's car, Julia gave them each a quick hug, whispering, "It'll be okay, and I'm right here if you need me for ANYTHING," in Mickey's ear.

And whispering, "Keep me updated, okay?" in Shizuki's ear.

He nodded and coughed and quickly walked around to the driver's side door. 'Don't think about blue panties. Don't think about blue panties. Mizuki is pregnant. Okay. Okay. Okay. That's better.'

'Shi-kun… I can't believe I told him I thought he was handsome. He must think I'm an idiot.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

"So. Does that cough," 'fag,' "doctor know you're pregnant?"

"You mean Umeda-sensei? Yeah. He figured it out right away. He's the only one in Japan that knows."

'Must have been his gay-dar.' "So do you know how far along you are?"

"Not really. It's just over 5 weeks since my last period started, though."

"Just five weeks? You're barely a week late, then! Are you sure you're pregnant?"

"Well, Sensei said that the urine test was 'inconclusive' but that the blood test was 'very conclusive'. Why? Do you think he might be wrong?"

'She doesn't sound hopeful at that – she actually sounds sad…' "If he took a blood test, then no. He wouldn't be wrong." 'I wonder how he pulled off getting a blood test for pregnancy run when he's in an all boys school? He must have had to pull a few strings to keep THAT quiet.'

He stared at her with a look of wonderment on his face. 'I guess you just can't help loving her and wanting to protect her. Even if you are a crazy queer.'

The way her face brightened when he said that the doctor wouldn't have been wrong… 'She really loves that poor idiot.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

After breaking it to her brother, her parents were easier to tell. They also thought that she should tell Sano, but didn't want to push her.

She never told them that Izumi had proposed, but her dad still rambled on about having another Furo lover in the family and how smart that Sano boy had seemed when he had stayed over.

Her mom just held her and stroked her hair, smiling and telling her that she was sure that everything would work out just fine – just wait and see.

They were a bit taken aback when she told them that the school was an all boys school, and that was why she had cut her hair. But when your daughter comes home, tells you she's in love with a boy who loves her back, and that she's pregnant, but the father can never know because of x, y, and z, and oh, by the way, the school I went to was an all boys school and sorry I lied about that, but I really was compelled to get over there and go to school with Sano and he's now the father of your grandchild, the whole school thing seems… not really inconsequential, but more like… fated.

Mizuki made them both promise not to do tell Sano before she went to bed.

X X X END SCENE X X X

After she was asleep, Shizuki and his parents talked for a long time about Mizuki and Sano. They all agreed that Sano should at least know, but none of them would directly or indirectly break their promise. For now.

But even without bringing it up, they all silently agreed that they would try to get Mizuki to change her mind somehow. Because if she didn't, her heart would remain all knotted up, and she'd never be free.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Even though she was worried about him, she didn't have any trouble sleeping. That's one of the blessings of pregnancy. You get so tired, you can sleep even if you think your mind should keep you up.

But when she woke up the next morning, sighing Sano's name, she looked around the room startled. 'Oh yeah. I'm home,' she thought smiling. 'And Sano's in Japan.' And the smile was gone.

She went downstairs, and her mom had made her favorite breakfast and poured her a glass of peach juice. She drank it and thought of Sano. "Did Sano used to bring you peach juice, dear?"

"How did you know?"

"You just looked so sad when you were drinking it, dear." She brought her a plate of food, and sat down with her to eat.

"So they weren't supposed to be practicing English when they were here, were they? You just didn't want them to catch on that you were a girl, right?"

"Yeah. Sorry."

"Well, dear, I think that cute Nakatsu boy didn't have a clue about much of anything that night. But wouldn't be surprised if Sano – he seemed very very smart – I wouldn't be surprised if he knew everything.

"Especially with the way he and Gilbert were glaring at each other…"

"Huh? Oh, crap! Gilbert! Hey, Mom, did you…"

"No one will tell Gilbert, honey. It's up to you to tell him or not. We love him, and can't thank him enough for bringing you back to us and taking care of you, but we'd never step in like that. No. It's your decision to tell him or not."

"Thanks, Mom…

"Gilbert and Sano were glaring at each other?"

Her mother tented her hands and placed them to her forehead, and shook her head.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	9. Chapter 9 Journal & Gilbert

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 9

She considered not telling Gilbert.

She didn't talk to him about it for almost a week. Instead, she decided to just take a few days for herself and pretend that the world was sweet and that she was just home for a visit.

But knowing that she'd probably never see Sano again, she just couldn't fake happiness.

The lucky thing for her was that because of the difference in timing of the start and end of the school year, she had transferred in the middle of THEIR sophomore year, but at the end of hers. So when her grades and credits transferred over, the local school district agreed that she'd pretty much passed all the necessary classes already. All she had to do was show up at graduation in June. She'd have the next couple months to take the SAT, apply to the colleges, and try to get accepted for the fall.

So she started looking around for colleges where she could learn how to be a dog trainer. And she scheduled a visit with a guidance counselor – who could help her in her decision on where to go to school.

Her parents were happy that she wanted to continue school, and agreed that they'd help her work out a schedule so that the baby would be cared for when she was at class. And of course, she'd still live at home, so there wasn't any stress about the need to find a place to live.

THAT left her with a lot of free time to think about everything. She was left with hours where she just sat and thought about her time in Japan. She'd pull out Akiha's album and look through it, and the pictures of her shoot, the pictures of her with Sano, and the pictures of just Sano. She'd get sad and happy at the same time.

After about 3 days of watching her daughter flip through the photos with longing and determination warring on her face, her mother decided to do something. She came home after her last class of the day with a package in her hands. Walking into the living room, she found Mizuki curled up on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, immersed yet again in her photos.

THWUMP!

Mizuki jumped a bit when her mother dropped the package on the couch next to her, and looked up at her in surprise. Her mother sat on the couch next to her.

"I bought you a present today!" She smiled at her daughter and pulled her feet up onto the couch, sitting Indian-style. Mizuki looked at the bag full of stuff and then back up at her mother, unmoving.

"Well, aren't you going to open it?"

Tentatively, she reached out her hand and picked up the bundle. It was as heavy as it had sounded from the thump it made when it was dropped. She pulled the new bundle into her lap after closing her photo album and setting it on the end table. Inside the bag she found several packages of stationery – some with little sunflowers in the lower right corner, some that was just nice textured paper, and a third package that was monogrammed A.M. There were also four pens, one topped with Hello Kitty, one with Badtzmaru, one with Chococat, and the fourth was an elegant fountain pen made of rosewood.

In addition, there was a leather bound book that was white with yellow ribbon trim: a blank journal.

"I thought you might want to write to some of your friends back in Japan," her mother said, referring to the stationery.

"And as for the journal," she pulled out a worn book that was covered in pink flowered fabric, "well, when I was pregnant with you, I kept a daily journal. It was your father's idea, but when I wrote in it, I sometimes thought maybe someday, I might want to share with my baby all the love I felt while I carried you inside of me."

Mizuki looked up at her mom, startled, her eyes filling up with tears.

"So I thought you might want to keep a record, too…

"When I was pregnant with you, I wrote in this every day. Would you like me to read to you from it?"

Mizuki smiled and nodded.

"Okay, come over here." She held her arms open for her daughter to come snuggle next to her on the couch. Once Mizuki had curled up next to her, head on her shoulder, she opened the book.

"You know, this book was more than just your father's idea: he actually picked this journal out and gave it to me to write in." She flipped through the pages, gently caressing each one as she did. "When his first wife was pregnant with Shizuki, he was still in college, finishing off his degree. He felt like he missed out on sharing the experience with her. He wanted to make sure he never missed anything with you. So he gave this to me, and asked me to write in it.

"I asked him why pink flowers. He said, 'Because we're having a girl.' I don't know how he knew, but he was so certain.

"Now, let's see…

_Takumi, _

_Today I had to leave the third year ballet class four separate times to throw up. Luckily, Kristen, my student assistant, was there, and she pretty much ran the class for me. When I was in the classroom, it was all I could do to sit on my stool and watch the girls. I never knew that morning sickness could last throughout the whole day._

_I wonder if our daughter will dance like me, or be more like you. You see, I've given up trying to even think that you might be wrong about our baby being a girl. I just hope you're right, because if it's a boy, this book could prove to be very embarrassing for him someday._

_I find myself thinking every time I have to excuse myself from the class, "Oh, come on now, little one. If you don't eat now, you're going to end up having to make up for it later!" I'm just hoping to keep enough down so that she'll grow. _

_Our first child together. And she'll grow up with an exceptional older brother to protect her. I don't know how we got so lucky. Oops. I think this is going to make number 5!_

"I didn't sign off on that one. However, I did make it to the toilet on time. I thought you might appreciate hearing that one now, before you start getting morning sickness. Better to know it's coming, right?" She hugged her daughter to her.

"Maybe you can write in your journal as if you were writing to Sano, and that way you'll feel a little bit like he's here with you."

Mizuki hugged her new journal tightly to her chest, and nodded. Her mother kissed her cheek and got up to start dinner.

X X X END SCENE X X X

It was on the 5th day back that she was sitting and writing in her journal when the time came for her to tell Gilbert. He'd walked up to her without her noticing him, so the temptation was too strong to resist reaching in and tickling her.

"WAH!"

"Hey there! What'cha writing?"

"Oh! Gilbert!" She quickly slammed the book shut so he couldn't see what she had written. "It's just a journal…"

"Okay. Don't worry, I won't peek." He sat down next to her and put his arm around her. "I'm glad you're back. But you haven't really talked to me at all since you got home."

"Yeah. I know. I'm sorry." She stares down at her feet, her knees up to her chest. 'I wonder how long I'm going to be able to sit like this. Soon there won't be room to pull my knees up. It's so weird how everything – all the little things – are changing on me.'

"Don't make that face. I'm not mad at you. I just…" He pulled her into a hug. "I just missed you is all."

She hugged him back, but remained quiet.

"And I'm really glad that you're home. I was worried that that Sano guy was going to steal you away from me. But if you're home, maybe I've still got a chance." He winked at her and smiled until he saw her look of sadness and… almost horror. "What? Did he… Did something happen?"

She pulled away from him and drew her knees back up to her chest, hugging them. She looked at the ground and said, "Gilbert, you know what? You were my first love."

"First, huh? But for me to be your first, that implies a second."

She nodded.

"Sano, huh?"

She nodded.

"So why are you here instead of still in Japan?"

She sat up and grabbed his sleeve. "You have to promise that you'll… that you'll not tell anyone who doesn't already know when I tell you."

He raised an eyebrow and looked askance at her. "Hmmmm… Sounds juicy."

"I'm serious, Gilbert!" She looked at him angrily.

"Okay. Okay. I can see that. I promise that I won't tell anyone who doesn't already know. But you're going to have to tell me who knows for me to keep that promise."

"Shizuki, Julia, Mom and Dad all know. And Doctor Umeda in Japan. That's all."

'Her whole family knows already? I thought this was a keeping-it-from-mom-&-dad type thing. And a doctor…?' Worry creased his brow. "What is it?"

"…"

"What?"

"… This is harder than I thought it would be…

"Okay. I'm going to start by saying that Sano knew I was a girl all along."

"Yeah, I know."

"JEEZ LOUISE! Did everyone know he knew except me?"

"I'd be willing to lay money on it," he said and tousled her hair.

She pouted at him before she continued. "Anyway… I got found out by the dorm heads and Sano stood up for me and told them that they should let me stay since I wanted to be there so bad. And he told me that he never told me he knew because he thought I might leave if I thought he knew and he wanted me to stay by his side."

Gilbert was silent and looked away from her.

"Anyway, once he knew that I knew that he knew I was a girl, we started dating. In secret, of course. And…

"Gilbert, you know I love you, but Sano is… I…"

He pulled her to him and hugged her. "It's okay. I figured. Once he told me that you were the most important person in the world to him, I knew there was a good chance I'd already lost. But if he doesn't realize what he has, I will be right there to… be there for you. Okay?" He gave her a lopsided grin. It was meant to cheer her up. But she turned from him and hugged her knees, looking away. She gave a little sob/gulp. "What's wrong?"

She stayed silent and he patiently waited for her to respond.

"I may never see Sano again…"

"?"

"See… I'm… I'm pregnant."

"Wha- Why would that mean that you'd never see him again? Did he… He didn't turn you away did he!" Fire leaps from his eyes. "That bastard!" 'Getting her pregnant and then he turns on to someone else?'

"NO!" She yelled at him. "Don't you EVER say anything bad about him!" She was more angry than she'd ever been. It might have had something to do with the hormones and the level of stress that she'd been under, but she had never felt the desire to hit someone as much as she did right then. It took all her strength to not just start wailing on Gilbert for even suggesting that Sano was less than a gentleman – much less calling him a name. A name that she knew some might call her child.

"Don't you EVER, EVER say anything bad about him! Sano has done nothing wrong. Nothing."

Gilbert froze as the first part of their conversation came to mind. Only Shizuki, Julia, Mom and Dad, and Dr. Umeda knew.

"You didn't tell him."

She shook her head no, and rested her chin on her knees. The anger had now melted away, and she was left exhausted and sad.

"You were afraid that he'd stop jumping for you, and that you'd ruin his life, so you left without telling him."

She nodded once only. 'Gilbert. How do you always know what I'm thinking?'

"But I don't understand… Didn't he fight you leaving?"

"Oh. Well, I kinda got found out at the school as being a girl… I passed out and Nakatsu – you remember, he was here that time, too – well, he was loosening my clothes so I could breathe and he kinda uncovered my chest. A bunch of kids saw. So… I was gonna hafta leave anyway…"

"Oh."

"Yeah. But I guess I'm lucky, though that I did pass out, aren't I? Because if I hadn't, then Dr. Umeda wouldn't have figured out I was pregnant until probably a couple more weeks, and no one would have known I was a girl so there would have been no reason to leave, and once I found out, then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave without telling Sano the truth!" She smiled up at him, happily. It's nice when you can find a good side to something that's seemed like a bad thing.

He shook his head and smiled just a bit. Then he got a bigger grin – almost predatory – and said, "And you've always got me to stand behind you! So you'll never be alone." He leaned in to whisper in her ear, "And you can always marry me so that you'll have a father for the baby."

She smiled sadly up at him. "I know you're being sweet, but the baby will always have a father – even if Sano can never know."

"I know that. But… You can lean on me like you would on Sano if he were here. Okay?"

"Thanks, Gilbert."

He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Once he was alone, there was a part of him that thought, 'Sano, you've escalated things. I kissed her first, but you were with her first. But I won't give up – not yet!' But the better part of him replied, 'Dude. She's gone. She loves him. And she's too sweet to let you be a consolation prize. She cares too much about you for that, and you know it. If you really love her, you're going to have to be there for her and not expect anything back.'

"I guess so. Okay. I guess so."

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	10. Chapter 10 Sano's Break

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 10

After the school year ended, Sano went back to his father's house in Hokkaido for the first time in five years.

At the end of dinner on the first night back, the conversation turned naturally to his final year in high school, and what he was planning to do after graduation, and if he wanted to continue on at Ohsaka Gakuen, or if he'd consider coming back to school in Hokkaido.

"I've already come so far at Ohsaka, I feel it's best to continue on the path that I've chosen."

"I… assumed you would feel that way," his father replied stoically.

"However, upon graduation, I was considering… going to college here in Hokkaido – that is, if you don't mind me living so close to home."

His father smiled at him, but didn't say anything – not quite trusting his words. Instead, his stepmom grinned and said, "Are you KIDDING? That's great!"

"Yeah, I know. You just want to be close to home so you can bask in all my victories next year in high jumping – cuz you know I'll be beating your record soon enough!"

Izumi laughed and said, "We'll just see about that. You know, you talk pretty big for someone so short." The rest of the family laughed while Shin protested that he was almost the same exact height as Izumi.

"And you know what, by next year, I'll probably even be taller than you. And I might even beat your jump records THIS year, cuz you're going to be in a single room as a 3rd year, so you won't have that Ashiya-guy there all the time to get you drinks and stuff…" Shin cut off as he saw Izumi's face drop and realized he may have gone too far.

His dad, however either didn't notice or ignored the way Izumi's mood shifted. "Ah! So that boy was bringing those lemon slices to YOU!" He smiled slightly and said, "He was a very nice boy, but he seemed a bit… pretty – I almost thought he was a girl when I ran into him. I didn't know you were roommates."

Izumi's face dropped a bit more, as he remembered that the only reason he was here with his family now was because of Mizuki, and that he wouldn't see her for at least a year.

Shin jumped in to try and lighten things up, "Yeah, he was pretty weird, but he seemed pretty nice. He really went out of his way for us- I mean you."

Izumi set both hands down on the table and cleared his voice. "Mom. Dad. Shin. I think I need to tell you something." They stopped what they were all doing and looked at him apprehensively. It was obvious that this was something serious.

"For almost two years, my roommate at school has been Ashiya Mizuki – who came all the way from the U.S. just to go to the same school as me, because Ashiya was inspired when she saw my jump. When you think about it, it seems pretty weird that we'd end up roommates. But I think now that there was a reason for it.

"You should know that… Hm… How do I say this?...

"Ashiya Mizuki… disguised her identity to get into the school."

"What? A girl at an all boys' school! That's… That's…" his mother seemed to be wavering between being amused and feeling ashamed for the girl.

"DUDE! Oh, man! So that's why… I mean… I thought he was really girly!" Shin tried not to let show how happy and relieved he was that this person was in fact a female.

His father cleared his throat. "I believe that's not all that Izumi wants to say." He'd been watching his son very closely, and could see that he hadn't finished. He kept his face carefully neutral. "Please continue."

"I will state this as simply as I can. As soon as I graduate, I plan to go to America and get her, and bring her back with me as my wife."

His mother and Shin stared at him with their mouths open. His father, however, responded with, "I see." He pushed his chair back from the table. Mrs. Sano and Shin both looked at him nervously, anxious as to what he intended to do.

"Izumi, may I speak with you alone for a moment?" Without waiting for a response, he turned and walked out of the room to his study. Izumi paused for a moment, then with a determined look upon his face, he pushed away from the table and followed his father.

In the study, his father was standing behind an armchair, hands gripping the back of it. He stared toward the shrine for his deceased first wife. Izumi closed the study door behind him, and at the sound, his father started and turned toward his son. He gestured toward the second armchair, then walked around the chair he had been behind, and sat in it.

Once seated, they sat in silence for a few moments. Then, still staring at the shrine for his wife, Takehiko spoke. "Izumi, you left this house as soon as you were able to be on your own. You are… you are your own man. I know that you don't owe me anything. Still, I… hope you know how much it… how glad I am that… you're here."

Izumi was startled by this. But he said nothing, waiting for what would come next.

"I was not a good father to you. So I know I don't have the right to really ask you… However… I can't help but wonder…" He stopped, at a loss for how to continue.

Izumi interrupted, "I knew she was a girl almost the whole time she was there. But I didn't tell her that I knew until she was found out by the dorm heads. By then, I already knew that I was in love with her. And I knew that I did not want to go on without her."

Takehiko looked over at the photo of his wife, then back at Sano. "She brought you honeyed lemons."

"Yeah."

There was a slight pause. Then Takehiko visibly made a decision and turned to his son. "Are you certain that she loves you as much as you love her?" He placed in his face just a touch of scorn. "After all, a girl who would go so far just to meet you – it might just be obsession."

"She is the only reason I'm here, father!" Izumi's eyes flamed at his father. "She… the whole time you were at Ohsaka Gakuen, she spent the whole time trying to get me to talk to you. And Shin… She…" He looked off to the side, away from his father. He remembered every time she cried over him. "She worried about me all the time. She only ever wanted me to be happy. She's the only person I've ever known who cared more about me than… than anything."

His father nodded as he stood, and walked over to a locked box at the shrine. He pulled out a key, unlocked the box and removed something small. Then he closed and relocked the box.

"Good," Takehiko said. "Then you should give her this." He held his closed fist out in front of him, and Sano looked up, then held his hand out to receive what his father was offering. He felt something cold and small hit his palm, and pulled his hand back to see a gold princess-cut diamond ring.

"You forget. I did meet this girl… Your mother would be very happy if her ring went to someone who loves you as much as she does." His eyes were moist, but he still maintained a stoic façade.

Izumi looked up at his dad with shock on his face.

In a second, he had stood and grabbed him in a tight hug. "Dad," he breathed. "Thank you."

Takehiko stood frozen, then wrapped his arms around his eldest son. A tear slid from his eye. 'No. Thank you, Ashiya Mizuki.' He held his son tightly and quietly said, "I hope you'll bring her by for us all to meet her properly some day."

X X X END SCENE X X X

The remainder of his time at home went very quickly. Izumi and Shin practiced together. And Takehiko and his son spent some quiet time, getting to know each other – silently apologizing for all the years of anger.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	11. Chapter 11 Some letters

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 11

When they came back to start their third year, they found that there were more third years in Dorm Two than there were single rooms, and there were fewer first and second years than there were previously. This meant that a few – like Sekime and Noe – opted to continue to share a room, even though they were third years. And it meant that Sano was allowed to stay by himself in the room he'd shared with Ashiya.

School started similarly to every other year. The first time they all went to the cafeteria together, Noe commented about how weird it was that Ashiya wasn't there. Sano just stared into his kitsune udon – only this time, it didn't seem funny. And Nakao… Nakao sighed and said, "I really miss her." They all nodded in agreement. Sano smiled sadly.

X X X END SCENE X X X

_Dear Ashiya,_

_I can't even believe that you're not here with me this year. I guess we knew that this might happen from the start. But still, I guess I still wish that you would have been able to graduate with me._

_I stayed at my dad's house over the break. We're taking it slowly, but we're talking. I think we both feel a bit regretful that we missed out on being family. I never understood that he missed my mom as much as I did. And I think he blamed himself for her not being there. Maybe it's because I'm older, but a lot of things really make more sense. _

_Dad asked me to thank you. Shin told him how hard you worked to get us all together._

_I told them all that I asked you to marry me – oh, and I explained about you being a girl, not a guy, so don't worry about that. Shin seemed pleasantly surprised that you were a girl. I think he may have developed a small crush on you. But when I told him that you were going to marry me, he sighed then said "Well, I guess it'll be pretty cool to have her as a sister."_

_The gang here all misses you. It's been really weird without you. Nakatsu, Kayashima, Noe & Sekime all agree. Nakao I think feels neglected. He not only lost Nanba, but then you left, too. He doesn't even seem to care that there's a new school idol among the first years._

_Well, I hope to hear from you soon. I am a bit worried as to how your mom and dad reacted to you being at an all boys' school. I hope everything is going well._

_I love you and miss you._

_Sano_

Mizuki read the letter again. Then she folded it up and put it inside the front cover of the journal. Then she flipped to the next blank page.

The morning sickness had hit her about two weeks after she got home. It was a good thing that her brother had set her up with a great OB/GYN. He made sure she had some prenatal vitamins, and her whole family made sure that she would eat – even when she couldn't keep it all down. The baby needed nutrients, even if she thought it would be better to not eat so that she didn't have to throw up as much.

She made sure when she was writing in her journal to be honest about everything – even the sick parts. This was tough because she'd rather just not talk about it. But she wanted the record of everything to be as accurate as possible.

She'd write in it every day. Without fail.

She also wrote letters to Dr. Umeda and Io about once a week. But she never wrote a letter that was sent to Sano. Not one. Instead, when she wrote in the journal, she wrote that as if she were writing letters to Sano. Telling him of her progress. As if he'd be with her someday and would be upset about what he'd missed, so she wanted to fill him in. It helped her keep a positive mindset, even if she didn't believe that he'd ever read it.

_Sano._

_I got a letter from you today. It made me so happy to hear about you and your dad. I want nothing but for you to be happy. It sounds like school is going well. I'm so glad._

_I had my first appointment with the doctor here yesterday. He says that I'm in good health, and that the baby seems to be doing well also. He told me that I should be eating more. Can you believe it? I never thought anyone would ever say that to me. I'm supposed to gain 10 pounds by the time I see him next in three weeks. Normally, I'd want to eat a bunch of sweets then, but they don't taste so good when you throw them up. And I'm throwing up a lot. I think I'm going to try to stick to bread and butter for the weight thing. That doesn't taste as bad coming back again._

_Your letter said that you miss me. I miss you, too. So much. It's funny. Every time I wake up, I seem to think that I'm back at school with you, and then I roll over looking for you, but you're not there. I wonder if I'll ever stop waking up looking for you. I guess that I hope I never do. It's a small price to pay for you to be able to reach your dreams. I just hope that if I ever do see you again that you'll forgive me for keeping another secret from you._

_I love you, Izumi._

_Mizuki_

X X X END SCENE X X X

It had been a month since she'd left. Nakatsu had written to her right after the graduation ceremony. And today, there was a letter on sunflower stationery from the girl that had so stolen his heart that he was willing to give in to it even thinking she was a boy.

He rushed to the lounge, waving the letter over his head. "I got a letter from Ashiya!" he yelled, and instantly, he was surrounded by his friends.

"How is she?", "Were her parents mad?", "What's her new school like?", "When's she gonna come back and visit?" Everyone wanted to know.

"I haven't opened it yet!"

"Well open it up and read it, you moron!" Nakao yelled at him.

They all gathered around him, as he sat on the couch in the lounge. He opened the letter and pulled out a single sheet.

_Nakatsu,_

_Thanks so much for writing and telling me how the graduation ceremony went. I'm so happy that our presentation went over so well. The Senpais really deserved a nice ceremony._

_I slept through most of the flight, but what I do remember of it went really smoothly. _

_Mom and Dad are doing well. They were a bit disappointed that I lied to them to get into the school, but overall, they were really supportive. Shizuki, my brother, was really happy to see me at home, so he's being really helpful. And Julia is the same as ever. _

_Guess what? I don't have to go to school any more! I guess since there was that grade difference when I transferred, and because in America we only go to school from September through June, we've covered more than all the required curriculum that I needed to graduate. All we had to do was transfer my credits to the local high school, and then I'll graduate in June. So now, I have to decide even quicker where I want to go to college. And I have to take the placement test – the SAT. I'm scheduled to take it next week, and Gilbert and Shizuki are helping me prepare. So wish me luck!_

_I miss all of you so much. Do me a favor and–_

Nakatsu stopped reading and looked around. He saw that Sano wasn't in the room.

"What's up?" Noe asked.

"Yeah, why'd you stop?" asked Sekime.

"Um, guys, I'll read this to you, but you have to agree to do as she asks." They all nod in agreement.

_Do me a favor and take care of Sano – but don't tell him that I asked you to do that. I want him to be happy. And I know he's doing so well with his family, I don't want him to be worrying about me._

_Nakatsu, you know how I feel about him. But, sometimes we aren't able to get what we want. So just watch out for him, and protect him for me._

_With Love,_

_Mizuki_

"What the hell does THAT mean?" Nakao asked. "I mean, we all know she loves him. Did he do something to her?"

"No." Kayashima quietly responded. "But I think … she may want him to be able to focus on his final year."

"Oh. That makes sense" they all answered, and agreed to keep the secret.

'You're not telling the whole truth, Kayashima,' Nakatsu thought. 'Something did happen between them – but what? Well, anyway. I'll do as she asks and take care of him for her. Maybe I'll find out from him.'

Perfect timing, Sano walked into the lounge just then.

"Your mom write you a letter, Nakatsu?"

"Nope," Noe responded quickly, "It's from Ashiya!" Sekime kicked him, and Noe yelled, "OW! What was… Oh."

"You got a letter?" Sano asked Nakatsu quietly. His face was struggling to contain its emotion.

"Uh, yeah. She just wrote that she's doing okay. It was really short – not even a full page. Didn't you get a letter, too?"

"Well, I didn't check for mail today – maybe I should go look." He quickly turned and strode out of the room.

At that point, they all turned toward Noe and glared at him. "Sorry!" And they all agreed that from now on, no one would tell Sano if they got a letter from her unless he'd gotten one first.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Sano rushed to the mailbox, but it was empty. And when he came back to the lounge, everyone had scattered. Only Nakatsu had waited for him. "So?"

Sano just shook his head. No letter. "Well, I'm sure she misses you." Sano shrugged. "Come on. Let's go get dinner."

"I'm not really hungry." He walked back to his room, alone.

In his room, he sat at his desk and put his head in his hands. He looked out the window. 'Mizuki. Are you okay? Did I do something wrong?'

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Sano, I'm coming in." Nakatsu came in and sat down next to his friend. "You okay?"

"Nakatsu, did she… did she say anything about me in that letter?"

Nakatsu swallowed and said, "Nope. It wasn't very specific about anything. Just small talk."

They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Nakatsu, I… I want you to know that I asked Mizuki to marry me, and she said yes. But I did it just before she got into that car. And I haven't heard from her since…"

"Dude! That's so great! I wondered what it was you whispered to her that made her cry like that. I remember she said yes! That's so wonderful!" He slapped his friend on the back.

"But I've tried calling her, and I've written her about 5 times since then, and she is never home when I call, and she hasn't written to me. Do you think… Do you think maybe she changed her mind?"

Nakatsu looked him in the eye and said, "Sano, if there's one thing that I am absolutely certain of, it's that Mizuki loves you and will do anything to make sure you're happy. Do you really think she'd change her mind?"

Sano smiled at his friend. "My dad gave me my mom's wedding ring to give to her." Nakatsu just smiled as his friend showed him the ring.

"That's gonna look really pretty on her."

"Yeah." They both smiled, picturing Mizuki in a wedding gown with the ring on her finger.

"You're one lucky SOB." Sano smiled up at him.

"Nakatsu?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

X X X END SCENE X X X

That night, Sano had his first Mizuki nightmare. She was walking away from him, and he was running after her. But the faster he ran toward her, the farther away she got. He yelled for her to stop, and she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled sadly before turning back and continuing to drift farther away. He woke up screaming her name.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Mizuki had her baby in mid-November. The labor was difficult, but because it was Sano's baby, she would not give up. Still sweaty from the labor, the nurses had cleaned up their child and placed it in her arms. She looked down to see a beautiful child with Sano's eyes looking back up at her, and she started to cry.

That's when the door to the delivery room burst open. Sano strode in and saw her with the baby in her arms. "Did you really think you could get away with lying to me?" He walked over to her and pulled the child out of her arms. "You disgust me. You don't deserve to be a mother!" He turned around and stormed out of the building, taking their child with him.

She strained from the bed, crying, "No! Sano, NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo!"

She sat bolt upright in bed. And looked around to see she was in her bedroom in her parents' house.

'Dreaming. I was dreaming…

'He was so angry…

'Sano, are you going to hate me no matter what I do?' She lay back down and hugged her pillow and cried herself back to sleep.

X X X END SCENE X X X

_Troublesome one,_

_You write that you're becoming acclimatized to being back in the states. You know, you really shouldn't bother writing to me if you're not going to be honest._

_This year is dragging on slowly. There's no one here pestering me all the time. It's just too quiet._

_When you find your mind troubled, think of me and dance._

_Umeda_

The letter was accompanied by a picture of the doctor with a rose in his teeth, being dipped by Ebi. The photo was signed on the back, "Hope you're blossoming, little flower. Love, Akiha"

She smiled when she read the letter. To think that Umeda had gone to the trouble of posing for Akiha just to send her a pick-me-up. She placed the letter and photo in her photo album, then opened the second letter she'd received.

_Mizuki,_

_There's nothing new to write, but I miss you._

_The cherry trees are all blossoming. It's really quite lovely – I wish you could see it. Sometimes when I'm jumping, I'll see some of the petals blowing in the wind above me. Pink and blue. It always makes me think of you._

_I wonder if you know how much I love you. Without you by my side…_

_This is my first attempt at a love letter, so I hope you will be patient. I don't really know what I'm supposed to write._

_I wonder how you would ever be able pass yourself off as a boy. I know I told you a lot that you had no sex appeal, but I hope you know by now that I was lying to make you feel more comfortable. You were always this beautiful girl that I needed to protect. Nanba would call you a princess. But that just doesn't do it for me. You're more than that._

_That you spent any time at all with me, is beyond me. I just don't understand why you _

_I love you, Mizuki, and I miss you so much. I don't get to see your smiling face. I don't get woken up in the middle of the night as you stumble into bed next to me. I don't get to hold you anymore. I knew I would miss you if you left. I hope you are doing well in America. _

_Once I graduate, I will come for you. Will you still be waiting for me?_

_Please write to me soon._

_Izumi_

She held the letter to her chest, closed her eyes, swallowed hard, and fought off the tears that always seemed to be on the verge of breaking free.

"Oh, Sano. I love you," she murmured. Then she walked over and added this letter to the stack of letters she'd already received from him. After being back in the states for almost two months, she'd received 15 letters already from him. Each letter she treasured. Even though she only allowed herself to read them once before putting them away. She tied the electric blue ribbon – he'd said it was his favorite color – around the stack, and placed it in her nightstand drawer.

'I just don't want to hurt him,' she thought, and turned to stare emotionless out the window. It was lunchtime, but she really didn't want to eat anything. The food had begun to lose it's flavor. After a few minutes of staring at nothing, she went back to her bed and crawled into the covers. It was easier to just sleep. And the baby would need rest, right?

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	12. Chapter 12 Support

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 12

Nakatsu watched as Sano tried the jump again. And the bar came down again. Sano didn't even get mad. He just walked over to his stuff and sat down. Nakatsu decided to do something. He walked down to the field.

"What's going on?"

"What do you mean?" Sano asked disingenuously.

"Sano, don't be dumb. You could have made that jump easily and you know it. So what's going on?"

Sano looked away from him. "It just doesn't seem so important lately."

Nakatsu sighed, then rambled quickly, "So have you given up on her? You've decided you don't want to marry her anymore? Because if that's true, then maybe I've got a shot, right?" He punched Sano lightly in the shoulder.

Sano didn't even look at his friend.

"Sano, I know you haven't given up on her. So don't give up on yourself. You know how much your jumping has always meant to her. So… Show her how much you love her, by becoming the best high jumper in the world. Make every jump as if you're jumping to her." Nakatsu smiled and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. "That's what I'd do if I were you, anyway."

Turning to look at Nakatsu, Sano gave him a half-smile and a punch in the arm. "Man, I don't deserve a friend like you."

"Yeah, yeah. Same to you."

Sano got up and went back to try again. This time he sailed over the bar with ease. Because he saw Mizuki's face waiting for him, smiling in the sky.

X X X END SCENE X X X

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Come in, Shuichi."

"You know, Kayashima, it really freaks me out when you do that," Nakatsu said as he opened the door and entered his former roommate's room.

Nakatsu sat on the floor. He didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"You know, she has her own reasons."

"Well, I figured she did," Nakatsu responded. He's gotten so used to it that he didn't notice that Kayashima had gotten to the bottom of his heart problems without him having to even tell him what was on his mind. "And don't get me wrong. I still love her. But I'm really starting to get angry with her. I mean, does she even realize that she's tearing Sano apart?"

"… You have to understand that she really does want to do the right thing here. But when she was here, she always followed her heart, not her head. And… because of some things, she now is trying to follow her head."

Nakatsu just looked at Takai in disbelief.

"If you are really upset at her, maybe you should write her and tell her so. It might make you feel better."

Shuichi thought about that for a minute, then nodded. "Thanks, Takai."

As he left the room, Kayashima called after him. "Hey, would you tell her I said that I understand what she's trying to do, but I think she'd do better to stick to following her heart?"

Nakatsu smiled. 'He's worried, too.' "Yeah. I'll tell her."

X X X END SCENE X X X

That night, Sano fell asleep easily. Sano had been thinking about how just seeing Mizuki's face in the sky waiting for him was doing more for his training than anything he'd ever tried before in all his years of jumping. 'I just want to jump to her. If I could only jump ahead in time, I could be with her… I could be with her like before.' He rolled to his side, and remembered Mizuki lying next to him. He imagined that she was there, lying spooned against him, and he fell asleep smiling.

His dream started out pleasantly. Mizuki was spread out on a bed. This time, she was wearing orange, though – his least favorite color. She smiled shyly, and murmured, "I love you." He smiled to see her. 'I love you, too,' he thought as he saw her. He thought about touching her breast and she sighed. He thought about kissing her neck and she moaned. He thought how much he wanted to make love to her, and she started to buck and sway. Her movements were so amazing, he couldn't look away, but he felt like a third party – an observer.

She started to move at a more fevered pace, and he saw her head go back – just like he'd memorized the last time they were together. She shrieked out her pleasure. Then she fell back against the bed. She reached up a hand and drew her lover down to lay next to her. Sano saw a blonde haired male recline next to her, and sat bolt upright in bed – now fully awake, and panting in terror.

'Tha- That wasn't – A dream. It was a dream.' He sat in bed, trying to calm his breathing. 'It was just a dream. Just a dream,' he repeated to himself over and over again as the tears of frustration leaked from his face.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Julia came to pick Mizuki up for her SATs. Julia, of course, had already taken and passed hers. But she wanted to support Mizuki in whatever way she could.

Mizuki put on a fake smile for her friend, grabbed her number two pencils, her eraser, and her sharpener. And they drove off to take the exam that would determine where Mizuki could go to school.

Julia had packed for Mizuki a small lunch bag with a ginger ale, some crackers and cheese, and some more ginger ale. She knew that Mizuki preferred peach juice, but that always made her think of Sano, and the last thing that girl needed was something to make her sad during the test. So all that was in the case were items to help with nausea.

At the hall, they explained to the proctor that Mizuki was pregnant and prone to morning sickness, and after looking through it, he allowed her pack to come in with her.

The all day test went pretty smoothly. Armed with Julia's care package, nausea didn't hit her hard enough to make her have to leave the exam room.

The interesting thing was that to Mizuki, this seemed like the easiest test she'd ever taken. She really didn't care if she passed or failed or anything. It just didn't seem that important. She knew she should care – if she got a good score, she could go to UCLA and study there. But if not, she didn't really care. Then she'd just go the vocational route. It'd be quicker.

And it's not like any of that really mattered anyway. None of this mattered. All that mattered was that she made sure to give birth to Sano's child, that the child be healthy, and that Sano not find out. That's all there was in the world that was worth anything.

When she finished the test, Julia was waiting for her. "So how d'you think you did?" She was excited for her friend. And anxious.

Mizuki smiled at the beautiful blonde and gave her a thumbs up. Julia pulled her into a hug. "Yay! So what do you want to do to celebrate?" Mizuki's face settled in a half-smile and she squinted up at her.

"I'm… a little tired. Can we… can we take a rain check?"

Julia smiled, but it was clear she was disappointed. "Sure. No problem. Let's take you home." They drove home with some small talk, but nothing really important was said.

The bug pulled into the Ashiya driveway, followed shortly after by Shizuki's Civic. The three of them exchanged pleasantries, talked about the SAT for a bit, then Mizuki excused herself to take a nap.

"I promise, Julia, we'll go out to celebrate after I get my results. I'm sorry to wimp out on ya… Hey! I know. Why don't you and Shizuki go for a celebratory dinner together?" She turned to her brother. "You can take my place for the night, can't you?" She had joined her hands behind her back and was smiling up at him.

Julia and Shizuki looked at each other. Both gulped and turned back to Mizuki who was smiling at them both. She leaned up to her brother, kissed his cheek, and said, "Thanks, Shizuki. I'm gonna go take a nap. Later, Julia!" she called as she entered the house.

Shizuki and Julia tentatively smiled at each other. "Well, you wouldn't want to let her down, would you Shiznit?" She walked around to the passenger door of Shizuki's car and got in. When her back was turned, her hand fluttered up to her heart then back down. 'Get a grip, idiot! It's not like it's a real date!'

He watched her walk around the car. Her hips swayed so sweetly when she walked. 'This is not… This is not happening. Okay. It's just me taking my kid sister's friend out for dinner. It's not a date.' He got into the driver's seat. "SO!" his voice squeaked, and he coughed to cover his nervousness. "So, where would the lovely young lady like to be escorted? - And don't think I'm gonna pretend that I'm Mizuki all night! You're going out with me, and me is who you're going to get." 'I did not just say that. I did not just say that!' Julia stared at him and swallowed. "I mean… no crazy girl talk!"

She rolled her eyes, and they both avoided looking at each other.

They had a quick dinner at the nearby family restaurant. They both had a good time, but… they kept finding themselves thinking, 'Is s/he flirting with me? Am I flirting with him/her? …Nah! It couldn't be.'

Everyone else in the restaurant kept looking at them thinking, 'They really do make such a cute couple.'

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	13. Chapter 13 Sleepless and Sleeping Too M

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 13

Sano lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He'd stayed in the same room he'd been in with Ashiya, but now it was converted into a single – no top bunk. He hadn't been sleeping well of late. He kept waking up, like his body was expecting Mizuki to climb in with him, and with her not there… 'Whatever. Sleep is overrated anyway.'

He was still having nightmares. Like the one where Mizuki was walking down the sidewalk on UCLA's campus and she was attacked, and raped – because he wasn't there with her to protect her.

Or the one where a drunk driver (that looked a lot like himself, if he'd paid any attention to that aspect of the dream) mowed her down, and she died alone crying his name.

Or the one where he got a letter from her explaining how Gilbert told her that he loved her and that she realized now that Sano was just a rebound for her – that she'd always loved Gilbert – and that she was sorry, but that he should get on with his life without her – that she knew someone as wonderful as him would find the perfect person for him. That dream always ended with him waking in a cold sweat, shaking and gasping for breath as if he'd been screaming. He seemed to be having this particular dream a lot.

Every time he'd wake up from a nightmare about her, he'd go over to his desk and write her a letter.

_Ashiya,_

_I woke up thinking of you again, so I thought I'd write to you. _

_School's going okay. I think Kagurazaka really should be afraid of me now. We've got a meet in about three weeks, and I plan to beat him. Soundly._

_Shin's doing great, too. The Sano brothers are really making the high-jump scene. That crazy reporter woman has taken to hounding him for information about the both of us. It's really funny. He just gets mad and shouts at her and pushes her away. She's taken to wearing padding now – just in case he gets too mad. The first time, she landed on her rump, and I really had a hard time not laughing at her._

_Nakatsu's doing very well. Seems he's been listed in the top 20 high school athletes in Japan, and he may actually get a chance to be a professional soccer player like he's dreamed. I think he misses Kayashima, though. Nakatsu never did like being alone very much. He always makes sure that we wait for Kayashima before going to any meal. _

_What's more interesting is how focused he's become. His grades are improving to the point where he's actually in the top 10 of the class in grades. He even gets better grades than me in history now. It's like he's all about sports and grades. He says that he's going to become Super Nakatsu RE in honor of your memory at Ohsaka Gakuen._

_Sekime and Noe said I should tell you to take it easy, and that you should come back as soon as you can to visit us. Nakao still misses you too. A lot. I don't know how you managed to charm him, but whenever anyone talks about you in his presence they have to be pretty careful what they say. You're like his twin sister or something. I think I'd be jealous of his reaction if it was anyone other than Nakao. _

_I hope you are doing well there. Please write to me when you can._

_I really miss you. _

_Izumi_

After writing her a letter, he'd feel a little better, and then he could go on with his day. It was like he was reaching out to her and part of her was with him again. But eventually the feeling would come back to him. The feeling that he was losing her. That he was running out of time.

But that was ridiculous. They'd be married in less than a year.

Right?

X X X END SCENE X X X

She was finding it more difficult to eat every day. All she wanted to do was sleep. But still, her mom had been right. Writing letters, and writing in the journal helped her to feel better. Every day, she'd write to Sano. But only in the journal.

_Dear Sano,_

_Today I got sick again as soon as I woke up. I really want to stop eating, but everyone tells me that it's better to keep some nutrients coming in. I take the vitamins later in the day, because my stomach's better at keeping them down then._

_The doctor says I'm progressing normally. I'm about two months along now, so I only have another month before I should be feeling better. Then I'll be in the second trimester, and the doctor says that's when the sickness usually stops._

_Part of me really wishes you were here with me. I miss you so much. I knew I loved you, but I didn't know how much until I had to give you up. I can do this though. I can be strong enough to raise our child alone. Because it's not fair to you to take you from your life. Not just for me. _

_I'll do whatever it takes so that you can reach your goals. Even if it means I can never see you again. And our baby will know that you were the best person ever on the planet._

_I have our baby growing inside of me. OUR baby. I love you so much. I love you so much. I miss you._

A tear stained the page.

X X X END SCENE X X X

When mail showed up for Umeda at the school, it had always been crap before. But now that Mizuki was back in America, there was always the chance that there'd be a letter from her.

Today, almost three months from the day she left, was a day when there was.

_Dear Sensei,_

_I hope you are well and will write back to me soon. I get letters from Sano fairly regularly. And from Nakatsu. Io, too. But you haven't written me much. No one found out you were helping me while I was there, I hope._

_Well, I do have to say that since you made me say that I would write you that you really should write me back more than just once. I was really happy when I got that letter. Please tell Akiha-san that the photo made me laugh._

_Everything seems to be going along pretty well. My friends and family are being very supportive. And it seems that since Japanese schools are so much more difficult than American ones, I don't even have to take any more classes to graduate. All I have to do is find out what school to go to._

_It seems that in America, like in Japan, there aren't any colleges for people to study dog training. There's only vocational schools. But there are schools where you can study animal behavior. And of course most of those are veterinary schools. So my dad is really hoping that I'll study at UCLA's vet school. I don't know that I want to become a vet, but I could study there so that I'd not only be better able to understand animal behavior, but so that I could recognize health issues. That would really help me take better care of the animals. _

_But it's a longer time in school than if I just go to a vocational school to become a certified animal trainer. Still, I'm considering it. I think it might be for the best._

_Please let me know what you think. You know I've always valued your opinion so much. I miss you almost as much as Sano. _

_I hope the 3rd years are taking it easy on you._

_With very much love,_

_Mizuki._

He didn't write her very often. But he thought he probably did miss her as much as she missed him. Otherwise, why would he look forward to the mail so much?

X X X END SCENE X X X

Io, on the other hand, did write her regularly. For which she was very grateful.

_Dear Ashiya,_

_I have to tell you that I am very worried, dear. _

_While I am very pleased that you were able to eventually find your Prince Charming – and that he finally woke up his sleeping princess – it does not seem right that you should leave him behind._

_My fear is that you are doing him a great disservice. While I understand your desire to protect him, shouldn't you also allow him the opportunity to protect you as well? Men really do have the need to protect their women, and it's only right that they should. Ah, Mizuki. You two love each other. You should be together. _

_Trust in your love for each other. Believe me, you will not regret it._

_But I won't preach to you any more tonight. How exciting it is to have a life growing inside you! I bet you're scared half to death. Ha! I was, too. And you're even younger than I was. Your whole life is changing, you know it, and yet all you can do is struggle to not to be sick. _

_Don't fret though! It will get better. And if you need me, please do not hesitate to call. I'm so excited about your baby! _

_You are going to be a wonderful mother. You naturally try to take care of everyone – that's one of your most endearing qualities. So don't worry about it._

_I do hope you'll change your mind and tell Sano, though. Don't worry. I won't say anything to anyone. But do consider what I've written._

_Hugs to you, darling!_

_Io_

X X X END SCENE X X X

When she got a letter from anyone from Japan, she always read it and then immediately wrote back. Still, with the distance, it often left quite a delay in the response time. She wrote everyone back religiously. Except for Sano. She never wrote to Sano. Because she was writing to him every day in her journal.

After she got a letter from Nakatsu, she wrote back the following:

_Nakatsu,_

_Thank you so much for writing and telling me everything that's going on. I miss you all so much, it's crazy. Hopefully after you guys graduate, I'll be able to see you again. But right now, I just can't get away._

_I did pass the SAT though, so I should be able to go to college starting next January._

_Tell Kayashima that I understood what he said at the end of your letter. And I appreciate the thought behind it. But even though he thinks that I'd do better to follow my heart instead of my head, I think it's time for me to try to behave like a grown up. I have to be responsible for my own decisions now. And I will be taking care of things soon. He'll understand what I mean, I think._

_I know that you're worried about me, and about Sano, but please don't tell Sano that I wrote you. I want to make sure that he's able to stay focused on school and jumping. He won't be able to do that if he's thinking about me. If I'm hurting Sano, please believe that it's not my goal. I just need to protect him, and I really think this is the best way. I don't have to like it. I just have to make sure that he's able to reach his dreams – whatever it takes._

_Sano wrote me that you're doing better in your studies. I'm really happy to hear that. And that you may have the option of choosing to go to college on scholarship for soccer or going directly to the majors. I really want you to reach your dream. Either way, I know you'll make it. I'm really proud of you._

_Keep working hard._

_Love,_

_Ashiya._

X X X END SCENE X X X

_Dear Izumi,_

_Everyone keeps telling me that I should tell you. They say that I'm not being fair to you. That you deserve to know, that you have the right to know. _

_I don't know what to do._

_Nakatsu says I'm hurting you more by not writing to you. Am I wrong to keep this a secret from you? Julia says that she thinks the hormones are making me nutty. She says that I don't need to suffer like this because you'd rather have me than high jump any day. She says that if I don't believe that then I don't believe you really love me._

_Gilbert says that I need to believe how important I am to you. That I've got a self-esteem issue if I think that anything could possibly be more important to you._

_Shizuki is just worried about me. That doctor I'm seeing says that I'm not gaining enough weight. They're forcing me to eat all the time. But it just… Sano, maybe I'm not strong enough. _

_I have to keep telling myself that I'm doing it for you and for our baby. Our baby. I have a little piece of you growing inside me. _

_Izumi, why is it that there are some days when that just isn't enough? Why do I feel like something's been cut out of me? The memories I shared with you are the most precious thing to me. I didn't know how much it would hurt to leave you._

_I don't know if I even want to go to school. My dad helped me fill out the application for UCLA, but it seems that I'll be too far along to go in the fall. We're filling out the application for me to start in the Winter. In the meantime, I just go to his office and play with the animals that have to stay overnight._

_I worry so much that you're going to come visit. If you visit now, you'll find out. And you keep writing me saying that you want to see me – that you want to come. I'm starting to think that all I can do is to make you hate me._

_It's funny. I started all this because I didn't want you to hate me. But what else can I do?_

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	14. Chapter 14 It's Too Much

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 14

The dreams were getting worse. And more frequent.

Sano was sure that the fact that Mizuki seemed to be writing everyone but him wasn't helping. They had all started hiding the letters when he walked in, and telling him that they hoped to hear from her soon. But their guilty looks in between each other, followed by looks of… what was it? Pity? That was all he needed to see to know that he was the only one not hearing from Ashiya.

He was losing more and more sleep. The only time he could sleep is when he'd work himself into so much exhaustion that he could pass out without thinking. And then, he didn't always make it through the whole night.

The good news was that, in order to get that exhausted, he was training harder than he ever had before. When he saw her face in the sky, he could forget about the feeling that he was losing the most important person in his life – she was right there with him.

Recently, the same dream had been recurring: Sano showed up to get Mizuki after graduation, and when he did, Mizuki was already married. To Gilbert. She would smile sadly at him and ask him what he wanted from her, and when he said that he was coming just like he had written, so that he could marry her, she'd shake her head sadly and say, "Sano. You were just an obsession I had as a girl. But I had to be smart. Gilbert is my first love." Then she'd turn away to close the door on him and Gilbert would come up to her, embrace her intimately and kiss her. And he'd wake up in a cold sweat.

But he kept writing to her. Every time he woke up from a nightmare.

_Mizuki,_

_Not much more to tell you than the last time I wrote._

_I just… Do you remember when we danced that night? You looked so beautiful in your dress that I thought everyone was sure to figure it out. All I wanted to do was dance with you. Did you know that? I was in love with you even then._

_This letter doesn't sound much like me, and I'm sorry. I'm just missing you. Sometimes thinking about marrying you is all that's keeping me going here at school._

_I finally made it past my old record. I'm breaking new ground. Kagurazaka and I have gone head to head a lot. I've beat him more than lost this year. He's really pissed. That should make me want to laugh. Shouldn't it?_

_Dad and I are getting along really well now. Shin is doing great. I know I wouldn't even be talking with them today if it weren't for you. _

_God, I miss you._

_Please write me soon and tell me that you're okay. I worry about you being without me there. I know your brother and your mother and father wouldn't let anything happen to you. And I'm sure Gilbert is by your side instead of me now. _(In this part, the writing was a extra firm – as if that hurt him to write.) _But please write, okay? I just want to make sure you're okay – regardless of anything._

_If you don't write me soon, I may have to quit school and come to you now._

_With all my love, I am yours,_

_Izumi._

He put it into an envelope and sealed and addressed it without re-reading it.

X X X END SCENE X X X

"Julia, I know what I'm doing. You read his letter. He… says he's going to come for me if I don't write him.

"And if I don't break it off with him now, he'll probably come anyway.

"I have to end it with Sano or he'll find out. And then he'll give up everything for me. I had to come up with some reason why he won't want me anymore."

"Mickey," Julia shook her head. "I don't agree. I think you're making him more miserable by not telling him than you ever would by telling him. The guy LOVES you!"

"No. I know he does. But what can I do? He can't come." It's now been 14 weeks since she left. She's got dark circles under her eyes. She was sleeping all the time, but none of it seemed to go very well. Her nightmares were getting worse. They were disjointed and surreal – because they're all based on her fears – but they would wake her up almost every night.

"I need him to stop worrying about me and stop thinking about me. I need him to forget about me. Or else he won't go on. And then I won't be able to go on."

Julia read the letter again:

_Sano-san,_

_I am sorry that I haven't written you. I just didn't know how to tell you in a letter what I need to tell you._

_When I got back, everyone was very happy that I was home to stay. Gilbert – I believe you met him when you were here that one time – has asked me to marry him. _

_How could I turn my back on my first love? _

_I hope you can forgive me someday. I only wish for you to be happy in your life. That is my dearest wish in the whole world._

_Be well always._

_Ashiya Mizuki_

"Well, you didn't lie anywhere in the letter. You just wrote everything so that he would think that you're getting married to Gilbert. I'm sure Gilbert would love that! But I still think this will hurt him more than being honest with him would! He's pretty much told you point blank in his letter that he's scared he's going to lose you to him, and you're confirming it!" She saw the stubborn pout on Mizuki's face, and sighed. She hugged her friend.

"Well, whatever happens, you know I'll always be here for you."

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	15. Chapter 15 Sano Breaks

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 15

It was on their way to class.

He was so happy. He finally had received a letter from Mizuki. He tore it open while he and Nakatsu were walking down the hall. Nakatsu was happy for his friend. The last letter he had gotten from Ashiya had just been too weird.

Sano had a dreamy smile on his face as he flipped open the sheet of paper. Then he read the letter. And fell to the floor. He stared off into space. He kept expecting to wake up. He just kept staring off into space as Nakatsu yelled for him, asking what was wrong.

Nakatsu yelled for someone to get the doctor. Sano had crumpled the letter in his hand so he couldn't read it to see what the problem was.

Eventually, Umeda came, and the two of them guided Sano to the infirmary. Umeda gave him something to help him sleep, and took the crumpled letter out of his hand. Nakatsu wouldn't leave until Umeda forced him out. Umeda said it was just the strain of finally getting a letter from Mizuki, and told him to get the hell out of his office so that he could treat Sano.

He read Mizuki's letter, and shook his head. Then, he walked over to Sano, brushed the hair out of the sleeping man's face, and said, "Sano, don't be fooled. She still loves you. Have hope."

He walked back to his desk, took the offending letter with him, and looked out the window. "Mizuki, you idiot. Did you really think this would HELP him?"

X X X END SCENE X X X

Sano woke up feeling like he'd had sleep, but that he was living a nightmare. It had really happened. It wasn't just a dream.

He bowed to Umeda and thanked him for taking care of him, then asked him for his letter from Mizuki.

"Sorry. I didn't see any letter from Mizuki? Maybe you dropped it in the hallway? Or maybe Nakatsu has it? He helped bring you here."

With a voice that's completely devoid of any emotion, he responded, "I don't suppose it really matters. Doctor Umeda, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"That depends on if it's personal for me or personal for you? Part of my job is to listen and advise you about matters that are troubling you in your 3rd year. But I'm not going into my personal life with students."

"It's personal for me. So if it's your job, I'll ask, and you can answer: If you're in love with someone, but they're in love with someone else, you just have to let it go, right? You have to let your dream die so they can be happy and there's nothing else you can do?"

"I'm not sure I agree with that. Sano, you haven't been sleeping lately, have you?"

He looks at the doctor suspiciously. "How can you tell?"

"The super-size luggage under your eyes. What's troubling you?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. When your worst nightmare comes true, it ceases to be a nightmare."

It really disturbed him how dead Sano's voice sounded.

"You've been having nightmares? What about?"

"Losing everything precious to me. But you can't lose what you never had. Can you?" He didn't sound bitter. Just dead.

"Sano, it's not healthy to not sleep. I want to keep you here overnight. Okay?"

"Whatever."

He gave the boy a shot that would knock him out again. Tucked him in. Then sat down at his desk. That's when he noticed in his in-box a letter from Mizuki – one addressed to him.

_Sensei,_

_I know this is a lot to ask of you, but please, please take care of Sano for me. _

_I had to hurt him so that he'd start to live his life without me. He had been writing about coming to visit me. I've started to show now. I'm almost 4 months along. If he came now, then he'd know and all I've worked for would be gone. So I told him that Gilbert had asked me to marry him. Which is true. _

_Gilbert was my first love. Sano met him when he was visiting here. But nowhere in my letter did it say that I said yes. I'm sure he thought that was implied. But there will never be anyone for me but Sano. _

_It's really hard not having Sano with me. But it's far enough now, that even if I were to change my mind and tell him, I don't think he'd ever forgive me._

_But that was the plan after all, wasn't it? I just want him to be happy. If he can be happy, that will be enough for me. I'll raise his child, keeping a part of Sano with me always. And he'll jump higher than he's ever jumped before. He'll really fly. _

_Did you know that he's getting along with his dad now? I'm so happy about that. And I've heard his brother has gone back to trying to match him all the time. They're becoming a real family. I may miss him horribly, but if he lost his dad because I was so dumb that I got myself pregnant, he'd end up hating me. _

_So please keep your promise and don't tell him. If anyone tells him, I'll just hate that person forever._

_And don't tell him I miss him. _

_Just take care of him for me. Please!_

_Mizuki_

He smiled after reading it. Finally. He could figure out a way to help that idiot girl. Without breaking his implied promise to her.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Nakatsu came to check up on Sano right after class – exactly as Umeda predicted.

"I know you want to see him, but he's asleep right now. Why don't you wait here, and I'll check on him." He left to go into the other room, leaving Mizuki's letter to him lying on the desk about 3 feet from where Nakatsu was standing.

Once in the other room, he glanced through the window from where he couldn't be seen. And waited. It didn't take long for the boredom to set in. Then Nakatsu started pacing.

Eventually, Umeda's patience was rewarded, as the letter in Mizuki's handwriting, on sunflower stationery caught Nakatsu's eye and he picked it up. Umeda smiled as the shock registered on Nakatsu's face. He watched as the boy struggled through all his emotions: Envy that Sano really had won Ashiya, empathy for his friends that were both in pain, amazement at the thought that Mizuki was pregnant. He watched the boy mentally struggle with what to do. And once he saw that the yellow-haired boy had a plan in place, he walked into the sitting room while Nakatsu still had the letter in his hand.

"Do you often read others' letters?"

"Uh – no. Uh – sorry, I…"

"Whatever. Just do me a favor. Sano's been having nightmares about losing Mizuki. So when he asks you about the letter he received from her, please act like you've never seen a letter to him from her. When he asks what happened, he passed out from lack of sleep and you and I carried him here. There never was a letter from Mizuki. It was all just a nightmare Sano had.

"Doable?"

Nakatsu grinned at him and gave him the thumbs up.

"I'm keeping Sano here overnight.

"Oh, one more thing. You can't tell him directly without pissing her off. But if he were to be convinced to go visit her, that's another matter entirely. Especially if someone who has absolutely no idea what's going on were the one to convince him. Now get out of my office."

X X X END SCENE X X X

When Sano woke up, Umeda told him he looked like he was feeling better, and joked with him that the next time he had difficulty sleeping he should come to the doctor before he passed out from exhaustion.

"Where's my letter from Mizuki?"

Umeda looked at him like he was crazy and asked, "What letter from Mizuki?"

"The one I got today."

"Sano, when Nakatsu came to see you earlier, he said that you were complaining about never getting any mail from her when you passed out."

"I never-? It was a dream?"

"I'm guessing yeah."

Sano smiled a little and sat down.

"Sano, I'm supposed to act as counselor to you 3rd years. So why don't you tell me what's been on your mind?"

"It's dumb."

"Dumb enough to keep you from sleeping? Dumb enough to put you here? Talk, moron!"

"I've been… worried about losing Mizuki. She's been writing anyone and everyone except for me, and I don't know why."

"Well, what do you think it is?"

"I don't know."

"…What do you FEAR it is?"

"… … …I'm afraid that maybe she doesn't… that maybe… she's not here, and it feels like I've lost her. What if I never see her again? What if someone hurts her and I'm not there to protect her? What if she doesn't love me anymore?" Once he starts, it all comes out in a torrent. And even though he's finally had some sleep, he actually starts to cry.

The doctor waited until Sano was a bit more calm.

"Sano, if you had to pick what you wanted most out of life, what would it be? Would it be your relationship with your family? Winning at the high jump? What would it be?"

"Being by Mizuki's side."

"Even if it meant you'd never see your family again? Even if it meant you'd never jump again?"

Sano looked up at him angrily, "Of course! I wouldn't even be jumping if not for her. And I wouldn't even be talking with my dad."

"So why aren't you with her now?"

"…"

"Sano, as a counselor, I'm supposed to ask you about your future. In ten years, where do you see yourself? Picture yourself where you want to be in ten years and tell me."

"Married to Mizuki. She's working to train dogs so that people won't give them up as their pets. I've finished college, and I'm working as an athletics coach – specializing in track and field… maybe helping to coach Shin…"

"What about kids? Do you and Mizuki have any kids?"

"Kids?" His eyes closed as he imagined Mizuki helping to teach a young boy how to tie his shoe, and himself holding their youngest baby. He smiled dreamily. "That'd be great!"

"Sano. I'm only going to tell you this once. Sometimes you have choose what is most important to you and GO and get it. And I don't think I can tell you anything more.

"Now. I think you're ready to go back to your classes. Feel free to come again when you need to. But my answers to you will most likely be the same."

Sano was amazed that even though he felt better than he had in weeks, the terrifying fear was still hanging right there, like the feeling someone is standing behind you, just outside of your peripheral vision and ready to attack.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	16. Chapter 16 Stepping In part 1

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 16

She was sitting at the kitchen table. She was putting food in her mouth, and chewing it, and swallowing it. She'd look away from the table, thinking about going back to bed, then she'd look down at her belly, pat it affectionately with a smile, and face the table again with determination. Take a bite. Chew it. Swallow. Take another bite. Grimace. Chew it. Swallow. Look away from the table. Pat her belly and smile. Face the table again.

Her mother and father looked at each other and frowned.

Once she'd finished and was allowed to go back up to bed, they starting talking.

"I know we said we'd stay out of it, but we have to do something," her mother said.

"I've never seen her so despondent. She's only happy when she's immediately thinking of the child. But other than that, she's just gray and grim. And she's sleeping too much," said her father.

"And she's so thin!" her mother wailed.

"I know we said we wouldn't tell Sano, but if we don't do something…" As her father said this last, Gilbert walked into the kitchen.

They looked up at him guiltily.

"I'm with you. I've already written to him." They look up at him with shock. "Oh, I didn't tell him anything specific. But I think what I wrote might convince him he needs to take a week off school and visit." They all breathed a sigh of relief, and thought, 'God, I hope so.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

Shizuki and Julia had been meeting almost every other day for the past month – ever since that first dinner. It was all about Mizuki. Honest.

Today, they met in the same park where Mizuki had told Julia the whole story. They were sitting on a bench talking about the troublesome girl that they both loved so much. There were other people in the park, so they were sitting closer than they normally would have (yeah, right) so that no one would hear them talking.

"Ju ju, we have to do something."

"I agree, Shi-kun," she responded. It was amazing how difficult it was to think when she was looking into his eyes. Eyes that shone with strength and concern for his little sister. She didn't get distracted from thinking about the bigger issue of Mizuki and find herself glancing down at his lips. And her tongue did not choose that moment to wet her own dry lips. Really. "I've already written to him. I didn't say anything I shouldn't. But I did strongly insinuate that it would be in everyone's best interest if he took an early break and came to visit. But with the letter that she sent him, it might not be enough."

Shizuki was finding it very difficult to think. The tongue dabbing at her lips was calling to him. He placed his hand on her knee and gently squeezed. But his thumb did not start stroking her thigh. He had more control that that. He was an adult, he was 25 and she was just 18, right? "How long ago did you send it?"

"It should arrive today." She wasn't leaning in toward him. She wasn't blushing at his nearness.

After a month of meeting regularly, some physical contact would be expected, right? It didn't mean anything. But why did her blush make him feel warm?

"Then I'll call him tonight. He's got to come. I can't let my little sister continue to rip herself apart like this."

Julia smiled at him then threw her arms around him. "Thanks, Shiz-nit. I always thought we'd make a pretty good team." Then she blushed again at what she'd just said.

He wrapped his arms around her and forced himself to not think of blue lace panties. His breath tickled her ear as he said, "Yeah. A pretty good team." He smiled, then sighed. She had no idea how attractive she was. He hoped she didn't hug too many guys like this. He was having a hard time controlling himself and he was a grown man. She probably had boys lining up around the block for her. There was no way that she was interested in an old man like him. But not every guy cared about who they hurt. He didn't notice his hands reflexively stroking her back, or that she sighed in his arms at his touch.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	17. Chapter 17 Stepping In part 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 17

Nakatsu took Sano out for Udon instead of going to the cafeteria that night. After they were seated, Nakatsu rambled on about the latest test they'd taken and how tough 3rd year was.

"I never thought it would be so tough. I always thought the 3rd years were just complaining to hear themselves complain… But it feels really good to know that I'm doing so well this year. I guess all my hard work is finally paying off, right?" He gave Sano the thumbs up and winked at him, smiling.

Sano smiled at his friend, but it was still very strained. The sleep in the doctor's office had helped. But he still felt like he was missing something.

"Yeah. You really deserve all the great grades, too. You've been working so hard this year."

Nakatsu sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Sano, I know what you're worrying about. You're thinking that there's a problem between you and Mizuki. Because she hasn't written you. Right?"

Sano didn't say anything. He just looked away.

"You know, I love Mizuki. I don't think I'll ever stop. And it really hurt a lot when I finally understood that I'd never have her. When I knew that she belonged to you."

Sano looked up at him, surprised. "She doesn't belong to me. She's a human being, Nakatsu. She's free to choose… to be with whoever she wants." He looked away.

"Sano, don't be an idiot. Anyone with eyes knows that Mizuki loves only you."

Sano just shrugged.

"Man, she must miss you an awful lot if it's too painful for her to even write."

That surprised Sano. He hadn't thought of that as a reason. They ate in silence for a while.

Nakatsu then broke out in a grin. "Hey! You know what I just thought?" Sano shook his head. "When you and Mizuki get married, then you'll probably have kids. Can you picture a pregnant Mizuki?" He smiled and sighed, thinking, 'I hope this works.' "Man, she'd be so cute… But you're going to have to be strong, because she tries to take on too much herself – that's just how she is. She'll be a really good mother, though."

Sano smiled as he pictured Mizuki, heavy with his child, smiling lovingly at him. In the back of his head, a voice says, 'That's pretty weird. That's the second time in two days that someone's brought that up. And I really never spent any time thinking of that before.' "I suppose she would be." His smile still was laced with sadness, as if he couldn't quite believe it could happen. "I can't imagine anything better than that, though."

Nakatsu's voice dropped so that Sano had to strain to hear the next part. "You know, life is short, Sano. You miss her. I know she misses you. And there's nothing keeping you apart except an ocean.

"I know she doesn't love me. But if she did, there'd be no way I'd ever let her get that far away from me. You should go to her. Take a week off school. Your grades are good enough. You've made enough progress in the jump, and there's a month 'til the next meet. She wants to see you. She **needs** to see you."

Sano looked down sadly.

"She needs you now more than ever. So go. Trust me. If you don't, you'll regret it forever. You will."

He smiled sadly at his friend, then got up and left, with Sano still sitting at the table, shocked.

X X X END SCENE X X X

When he got back to the dorm, he found that there were two letters waiting for him. He opened the one with masculine handwriting first. It was in English. That was pretty rare.

_Sano Izumi,_

_I think we reached an understanding when you were in the states. You know that I love Mizuki. But you do, too. While she was in Japan, I trusted you to take care of her. Therefore, it's possible you're thinking you can trust her to me in America._

_But what we didn't take into account when we came to that arrangement was Mizuki's feelings._

_If you truly care for her, then you'll come to her NOW. _

_If you don't, I swear, I will do everything in my power to TRY to make her happy, and I will do everything I can to ensure that she never sees you again._

_Come now._

_Gilbert_

'What the heck does THAT mean?' He set the letter aside and opened the other one that was in romanji. Which is also pretty weird. Until he saw it was from Julia.

_Sano,_

_I know that you're thinking she doesn't want you anymore. But you're wrong!_

_Please come to her. And don't tell her I wrote you._

_Julia_

'How does she know that!'

He began pacing. He felt energy building up in him. Why was everyone so insistent that he go to her? Was this a sign? The nervous energy started to make him feel panicky, so he decided to go burn some of it off and train.

The whole time training, he wasn't thinking of jumping. He wasn't looking for her face in the sky. He just thought over and over again, 'I could go to her. I could go to her. But why are they so urgent? I could be with her. But what's wrong with Mizuki? Should I go?' He didn't even notice when he broke his own best record.

X X X END SCENE X X X

On his way back to the dorm, he still felt too wound-up to sleep, and he noticed the light on in the infirmary. Maybe he could get something to help him fall asleep tonight.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Come in, Sano."

As Sano entered the room, before he could even ask, "I saw you in the courtyard, looking over here. I figured it would be you."

"Doctor Umeda, I… I was hoping you could give me something to help me sleep tonight."

Umeda looked Sano up and down. 'He looks a little better. He looks… almost hopeful.' "First sit down and talk to me. Consider it a counseling session. I need to know why you think you're not going to sleep tonight before I can decide whether to give you anything."

Sano sat and then stared off into space.

'I guess I'm going to have to dig.' "So. What's happened since I last saw you. You look… different."

"I… I got some letters. Not from Mizuki. From her friends… They think I should go to her. I got the feeling that something's not quite right… But they both say that she needs me. Nakatsu thinks so, too.

"Do you… Do you think that… Could I get a week off and go? Should I go to her?" He shook his head, as if to clear it. "I just don't know what to think."

"Sano, life is full of tough choices. And nothing is handed to you. You have to fight for it. So if there's something that you're certain that you want more than anything else, you have to GO. GO and GET HE- cough, cough. Excuse me. Go and get it. No one will bring you want you want on a silver platter. But when you go after what you want, you'll be surprised how many things just start to make sense.

"Now as to your leaving school for a week, you wouldn't be the first to need a break from their 3rd year for health reasons." He started writing a note on his pad. "You are officially on break for a week. Starting tomorrow. Doctor's orders. I'll file the paper with the school. But don't tell anyone, or EVERYONE will be asking me to give them a break."

He walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a couple of pills that he placed in a plastic bag. Then he handed the bag to Sano. "Take these about ½ hour before you want to be asleep. You'll sleep through the night. Then you can… do whatever you need to in order to regain your health in the next week. Go."

And he pushed him out of the office, leaned against the door, and smiled. 'That girl exhausts me even from thousands of miles away. Sheesh.'

X X X END SCENE X X X

As he walked back to his room, Sano debated going to the states.

'Mizuki needs me.'

'But she said she didn't want to see me again.'

'That was a dream.'

'Was it? It felt so real.'

'But what if Mizuki really needs me?'

'I don't have enough money for a ticket.'

'Borrow it from your parents and go.'

'I can't be a burden on them now. Not when we've just started to get close again.'

'What's more important? Them, or Mizuki?'

'But what if she doesn't want me? What if she tells me that she never wants to see me again?'

'Are you going to let your fear rule you? I thought you weren't going to run away anymore. You're just running away from FEAR of failure now!'

'But -'

He stopped short as he saw Nakao sitting outside his door. "Nakao? What are you doing here?"

"It's about time. I've been waiting for over an hour. Some guy keeps calling for you. He says he's Mizuki's brother and that he needs to talk to you. I told him you were at practice and that I didn't know when you'd be back, and he said he'd keep calling every hour on the hour until he reached you. He asked me to make sure you were there to receive the call. He actually threatened to fly over here and kick my ass if I didn't give you that message.

"Well, I've given it to you… And it's just 5 minutes til 11. You might want to go to the phone in the lounge to take the call. I'm going to bed!"

Nakao grumpily walked down the hall toward his room, muttering about his beauty sleep. Sano glanced at his door and then turned and walked the other way down the hall toward the lounge, so he didn't see Nakao glance over his shoulder as Sano headed toward the phone. Nakao smiled and said under his breath, "Go get her, Sano."

X X X END SCENE X X X

The phone rang at 11:01:25. At least that was the time on Sano's watch. He picked it up on the first ring.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Ashiya Shizuki. I'm calling for Sano Izumi. Is he available at this time?"

"This is Sano Izumi."

Sano heard him exhale heavily and mutter, "About friggin' time.

"Sano Izumi. I need to speak with you about something serious…

"Sano Izumi, what are your intentions toward my little sister?"

This was not at all what he was expecting.

"Sir, I love Ashiya Mizuki with all my heart.

"…I had intended to marry her as soon as I graduated. I… asked her before she left, and she said yes. But she… hasn't spoken or written to me since. I called her a couple of times, but your parents said she was out, and she hasn't returned my calls."

"Do you know why that is?"

"No, sir, I do not."

"Sano Izumi. If she were to tell you to go away, what would you do?"

He swallowed hard. "…I…"

"Would you go on jumping?" His voice was angry now, pushing Sano for a reaction. "Would you LET her go? What would you DO?"

"I… don't know! I don't want her to… I only want her to be happy!...Please. Is she doing okay? I know you are taking care of her. But, tell me how she is, please!"

Shizuki's voice softened as he heard the stress in Sano's voice. "Sano, I think she's doing exactly the same as you. Exactly."

Sano didn't reply.

"Sano-nii-san, don't wait. Come NOW.

"And I never called you." CLICK

X X X END SCENE X X X

'Even her brother wants me to come? And he never liked me. Nii-san? What's up with that? He called me nii-san.' That actually scared him a bit. What the hell was going on?

He turned and walked toward his room. As he put his key in the lock, he heard a door open behind him. Then, Nakatsu handed him an envelope, patted him on the shoulder and walked back to his room and closed the door behind himself.

Envelope in hand, Sano entered his room and sat on his bed.

Inside, he found a ticket to America in his name and a note in Nakatsu's handwriting: "We all want to see you two happy. You've both been there for us. So we took up a collection. It's open-ended. But don't wait. Go now." It was signed by all his friends in his class.

He stood up, took a shower, packed a bag, then used the phone in the lobby to place a call. Then he walked back down the hall to knock on Nakatsu's door. Shuichi opened it to see Sano with the ticket in one hand and a bag in the other. Sano hugged his friend and said, "Thank you." Then he turned and headed out of the dorm to the cab that was waiting for him.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	18. Chapter 18 Coming Home to You

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 18

He slept soundly on the plane. For the first time in months. And without any sleep aids.

When he arrived in the states, he took a cab to Ashiya's house. Taking a deep breath, he walked up to the front door and knocked.

Mrs. Ashiya answered the door. When she saw him standing there, she smiled broadly and hugged him without a word. She drew him into the house, where he set his bag down in the hall. Then she led him toward the living room, where Mizuki was sitting on the couch, writing in a book.

Her hair was much longer, but she was wearing really baggy clothes – like she used to do when she was trying to be a boy. As he stood there looking at her, he felt his heart rise to his throat and his knees got weak. He reached out to hold the doorframe to steady himself. Eiko smiled at him, gently propelled him into the room, and left to go back into the kitchen, still smiling.

"Mizuki," he gasped.

It was like a slow-motion scene in a movie. She turned to him, startled. At the moment she saw his face, she broke into a heart-felt smile and whispered, "Izumi."

It had to be a dream. She looked at him so longingly. He took a step forward.

Then she realized that it was not a dream. The look of longing on her face changed to one of fear and horror and she turned away from him quickly. "What… What are you doing here, Sano-san?"

Sano-san – just like in that dream, in that dream letter.

"Sano-san?" He asked.

"Sano, then. Whatever." She tried to make her voice cold, but she ended up just sounding really scared. "What are you doing here, Sano?"

"Why haven't you written me?"

"What do you mean? I wrote you." 'Every day.' Her hand unconsciously went toward her tummy. She caught her motion mid-way and slowly and nonchalantly placed it on the couch instead. He didn't notice. "Did you not get my letter?"

'It WAS real. Or I'm dreaming now. I'm so tired of this nightmare.' He felt himself getting angry.

"So you don't love me?" He asked, dark anger in his voice.

She wouldn't look at him, as she responded, "I… thought I did, but… when I got back and saw Gilbert again… I think you should leave."

At just that moment, Gilbert walked through the room with a smirk. "Feh! You know that's not true, so don't use ME as an excuse. You should just tell him the truth!"

Mizuki turned around with shock on her face and stared at Gilbert with her jaw open. They'd been talking in Japanese, and Gilbert's response was in English. But that didn't seem to even register.

Gilbert just smirked, shrugged and walked out of the room, waving a hand over his shoulder, nodding at Sano and saying, "Hey."

"What's going on, Mizuki! What truth is he talking about?" He's walked closer to her now, and his hands were in tight fists by his sides.

She looked right and left for some kind of inspiration and her hand fluttered to pat her belly, then she realized what she'd done. Her eyes widened and she thrust her hand away from her stomach and turned away from him.

This time there was no way he could NOT notice. His stared at her, eyes round in shock. He remembered both Nakatsu and Umeda bringing up the idea of Mizuki and a baby. He saw the rounding of her tummy now. It was only slightly hidden by the clothes, but he hadn't been looking for it before.

His voice was quiet. He sat down next to her and she flinched. She was not thinking clearly. It was all a jumble of 'he mustn't find out' mixed with a longing 'Sano, sano, sano!'

She didn't look at him and her voice trembled as she answered, "The truth is that I don't love you, Sano."

She remained a horrible liar.

Even so, even hearing the lie in her words, the fact that those words came out of her mouth hurt him. His head sank to her shoulder, and she froze in place, torn between the desire of her heart and that of her head.

She barely heard him as he said, "Please, Mizuki. I love you. Without you, there's nothing. Nothing." His hand reached to take hers. He held it in both of his own, petting it. "Please tell me the truth of why you're pushing me away. I… if you really don't love me, look me in the eye and tell me that." He raised his face. It was inches from hers. Her eyes locked on his, and she couldn't answer. Everything was frozen. Deer. Headlights.

He stared into her eyes, the anguish clearly evident in both pairs. "Just tell me one thing." He placed a hand on her rounded belly and asked, "Do you hate me because I made you pregnant, or do you hate me because I let you go and didn't protect you?" Is the child his? Or was she… It would be just like her to get into a dangerous situation and get raped if she didn't have him there to protect her. His poor Mizuki.

She couldn't look away. So she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Oh, Izumi. I could never, EVER hate you." She sobbed.

His voice was deadly and emotionlessly quiet. He blamed himself. He knew that she thought it was her fault somehow, but he was certain that it had to be his. "Then look me in the eyes and tell me when you stopped loving me."

She opened her eyes to find his boring into hers. She gulped and mumbled something completely incoherent.

He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her back against the couch. "Stop with all the lies and tell me when you stopped loving me!" He didn't want to yell at her, but he didn't seem to be able to control himself.

She sobbed and the word, "Never," tore from her throat.

He recoiled as if slapped. 'She never loved me?'

"I never ever stopped loving you." She sobbed again.

For the first time since he entered the room, the tension melted from his shoulders. 'She still loves me!'

"But you…" She pulled away from him and curled up on the couch. "You'll be better off without me. I… I could never ruin your life, Sano. I couldn't let you give up… your family… jumping… You are... you're EVERYTHING!" She was trying not to cry, but she couldn't stop herself.

"But it's been so hard. I knew if I told you we were having a baby-"

Her words were cut off as he picked her up and pulled her into his lap. He held onto her as if she was the only thing that was keeping him alive. He whispered into her hair, "Do you honestly think I could let you leave me? Ever? YOU ARE my life. And the rest of the world be damned." He lifted up her chin and fell into her eyes. "You gave yourself to me. Remember? You told me that you were mine. And I can't… I can't live without you. You're all that keeps me going. I will never. Ever. Let you go."

"Oh, Izumi." She cried into his sweater.

With her back in his arms, where she belongs, for the first time in months he felt whole.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	19. Chapter 19 Asking the Right Way

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 19

Half an hour later, they were still sitting on the couch, holding each other, both of them calling each other's name softly in between, "I'm sorry"s when Eiko came in and called them to dinner. They started, guiltily, pulled away from each other, and Eiko just laughed.

Mizuki and Sano walked to the dinner table hand in hand, and both dug in with abandon. The food just tasted so good. Eiko, Takumi, Shizuki, Mizuki, and Sano shared a wonderful meal together. No one talked very much, but the relief was so great, that everyone felt the best they had in… well 4 months.

Ten minutes into dinner, Mizuki had to get up and go to the bathroom – one of the little perks of pregnancy. After she left the room, Sano cleared his throat. Once he had everyone's attention, he began, "Mr. & Mrs. Ashiya. Shizuki. I want you to know that I love Mizuki very much. I know… I haven't been here for her as I should have been these last four months-"

Eiko interrupted him. "Sano-kun, you really shouldn't… It was NOT your fault at all. We raised Mizuki. We know how headstrong she can be. You can't blame yourself for what you didn't know."

He looked at her intently. "Begging your pardon, but I don't think that matters. I love her. I should have been with her. I should have followed her to America or… or… gone to a different school in Japan with her – I could have-"

"Okay, that's enough!" Shizuki slammed his hand down on the table. "I don't appreciate the stupidity of my sister's actions. But she's my sister so I have to put up with it. You, however, I can tell where to stick it. It seems pretty simple to me. She left you because she WANTED to protect you. She wouldn't have LET you follow her. Friggin' deal with it. Crap happens." Eiko and Takumi nodded at Shizuki's words.

Sano bowed his head gratefully to Shizuki. And Mizuki came back into the room. "What's going on?"

"Nothing dear," Eiko said. "Come finish your dinner." Half-way through Mizuki's third helping, she had to go to the bathroom again. She grimaced as she excused herself again and smiled apologetically to Izumi.

Sano just smiled back at her as she left the room. But once she was gone again, he addressed her parents again. "Mr. & Mrs. Ashiya. This is twice you've invited me into your home. And… I want to… I… I would like to ask permission to take your daughter's hand in marriage!" he finally blurted out.

Takumi looked confused. Shizuki rolled his eyes at him like he thought Sano was an idiot. Eiko's brow furrowed and patted his hand, "Well, of course, dear!"

Takumi, still looking perplexed said, "And you're going to have to try out the furo tonight and tell me what you think of it – you didn't get a chance last time you were here."

Izumi looked at each of them in turn and then laughed. 'Yup. They're definitely her family.'

Mizuki's return to the room this time found them all talking about baths. Izumi and Takumi were promoting the benefits of furos, while Shizuki and Eiko were on the opposite side – showers, hot, steamy showers were definitely better. Mizuki laughed and asked what was for dessert.

X X X END SCENE X X X

After dinner was over, Sano and Mizuki went out onto the back patio to sit and look at the stars. They looked up at the stars and sat next to each other, holding hands. Mizuki let her head rest on Sano's shoulder.

Sano cleared his throat. "Mizuki?" he said, and she looked up at him. "I want to do this right this time."

He got down on one knee, and pulled out of his pocket the ring. He held it up to her. "Will you marry me?"

Her eyes filled with tears, and she said, "You still want me, even though I left you? And lied to you? And…"

He held her hand and looked up at her. "I will always want you, Mizuki," he responded, his voice laced with desire and a touch of apprehension. She gazed through her tears into his beautiful brown eyes and said, "Oh, Sano." She nodded vigorously. He smiled and slipped the ring on her finger. It fit her perfectly.

He pulled himself up into the seat, next to her, and kissed her with all the pent up longing from the past four months. She melted into his arms.

Overhead, a shooting star shot through the sky, honoring their joining.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Inside, Takumi had an idea. He suggested it to Eiko. She considered it and said, "It'll really be up to them."

When they came back inside, Takumi grabbed them around the shoulders and walked them into the living room. He told them his idea. Sano and Mizuki looked at each other and answered at the same time. "Why not?"

They all laughed, and Eiko and Mizuki went into the other room to call Julia and Gilbert. Meanwhile, Takumi dragged Sano and Shizuki off to the furo.

After Julia and Gilbert confirmed they were available for the next day, Eiko dragged Mizuki upstairs to her bedroom. She made her sit on the bed, and she dug into the back of her closet and pulled out a large box. Opening it up, she pulled out a beautiful kimono of white silk that was embroidered with tiny pink cherry blossoms. The Obi was an electric blue silk, embroidered with a white knot pattern so tight that the obi appeared light blue until you were very close to it.

"I wore this when I married your father. If you'd like to…" Mizuki threw herself at her mother, and sobbed, "Oh mom! Thank you!"

They tried it on, and it wrapped around her. The Obi was a little tight, but other than that, it fit her very well. They took it off and put it back in the box where it would wait until the wedding.

Then her mother got an extra pillow, and walked it into Mizuki's room, placed it onto her bed.

"Um. Mom? What's the extra pillow for?"

"Why, for Sano of course!"

"Bu- bu- ar- wha-?" Mizuki's sputtering caused her mother to chuckle.

"Dear, you're carrying his child. You've been miserable for four months. He's been miserable for four months. The time for propriety is past. I wouldn't dare try to separate you two now." She smiled at her daughter. As she walked out of the room to go downstairs, she called over her shoulder. "But DO try to wait until tomorrow night for any… activities. Okay?"

She chuckled the whole way downstairs as Mizuki's sputtering followed after her.

X X X END SCENE X X X

After they finished in the furo, Shizuki left to go to his apartment for the night. Sano bowed to Takumi and asked if he could use the phone to call a cab.

"A cab? Whatever for?"

"…Uh. So I can go get a hotel room."

Takumi laughed so hard that his stomach hurt. When he was done laughing, he said, "Son, you're staying here!" He tossed him a set of pajamas and said, "Put these on, and I'll show you to your bed."

Once dressed, Takumi led Sano upstairs, pointed to a door, and said, "That's you. Have a good night. I'm off to get some sleep. Be good," and walked down the hall to his and his wife's bedroom.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Sano opened the door to the room, to see Mizuki, her back to him, in just her white cotton panties, about to pull on a nightgown.

"EEP!" She pulled the nightgown to her chest, covering it. "Sano!"

"Oh, God!" Sano yelped! "I'm sorry!" He turned around to face the door. "Your dad told me I was…" He looked over his shoulder at her bare back. She saw him looking and blushed.

"Yeah. Mom brought you an extra pillow…" She gestured to the bed with one hand, holding the nightgown to her with the other.

"They… they're really okay with this?" Sano asked.

Mizuki shrugged and blushed. "I don't really get it either… But… You ARE the father of their 1st grandchild…"

Sano stood up straight and turned around to face her. "In that case…" he walked over to her, picked her up, and carried her toward the bed. She shrieked a little bit, and they heard from down the hall Eiko yell, "Hey! I thought I said no hanky panky tonight!" They both froze until Eiko and Takumi's laughter echoed down the hall.

Sano chuckled and set her on the bed. Then he turned his back so that she could put her nightgown on. When she was finished, she told him so, and he turned off the light, and slid under the covers next to her. They spooned with her head just under his chin, his arm wrapped around her middle, covering her hand on their child in her belly.

"I'm not dreaming, am I? You're really here?"

He responded with, "I don't think it's a dream. If it is, then I don't want to wake up. It's the only good one I've had since you left."

She turned her head to him and said, "Izumi. I'm so sorry. I… I didn't want to hurt you. I…" the tears came from her eyes like they'd never stop.

He thought back to all the times she was trying to help him back at school and he'd hurt her in his stubbornness and stupidity. "Baka! Don't you know that's done? It's over." He kissed the top of her head. "But!" He stroked one finger along her cheek down to her chin and lifted it to look at him. "Please don't ever leave me again, okay? I need you, dummy." He pulled her as close as two spoons could be, her back to him, so she couldn't see the tear in his eye. "You're the only thing that matters." He patted her belly. "I love you."

She sighed in his arms. "I love you, too." She held her left hand out and looked at the ring on her finger. The diamond on it was really big – maybe even a whole carat! "Sano! How did you… How could you afford this? It's too much!" She turned back to look at him, worry creasing her brow.

He smiled at her. "Stop wiggling around so much. You don't have to worry, bishoujokoi." His smile was pure and filled with love. "It was my mom's."

She gasped and looked at him then back to the ring again in awe.

"Dad wanted me to give it to you."

She burst into tears. "Oh, Izumi!" She turned her whole body to face him. She looked up at him with love filling her eyes.

He kissed her fully, then said, "You really should rest. We've got a big day tomorrow."

She smiled at him, nodded, and flipped back around. He held her tightly, and they fell asleep clinging to each other.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	20. Chapter 20 Driving

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 20

The next morning erupted in a flurry of activity. Everyone packed a bag quickly and ate the lovely breakfast that Eiko prepared. Then the doorbell rang, as their friends arrived. First Shizuki, then Julia, then Gilbert and Lisa. Once they were all there, they loaded up the back of Shizuki's Civic, and the back of her dad's SUV with all of their baggage. Then they jumped in the cars and they were on the road.

Gilbert and Lisa rode in the back of the SUV with Eiko and Takumi. Izumi and Mizuki rode in the back of the Civic with Shizuki and Julia up front.

X X X END SCENE X X X

Izumi and Mizuki spent almost the whole trip just cuddled in the back seat. Mizuki had brought her journal with her. At first, she was writing in it as they rode, and when Sano asked her what it was, she wouldn't answer. She just stuck out her tongue and pulled it away from him.

"If you don't tell me what it is, I'm going to have to tickle you," Sano threatened.

"No need for that, Sano-nii-san. It's-"

"Nii-san! If you tell him, I swear-"

"You swear WHAT, little sister?"

"Sheesh!" Julia complained, "Just show him already! You were planning on showing him anyway!"

"Yeah, but I wanted to finish writing first."

"Writing what?" Sano asked.

"Just be patient, and you'll see," Shizuki replied. "After all, you better get used to it now. Women always seem to make us men wait."

"Just what's THAT supposed to mean?" Mizuki snipped.

"Yeah," Julia agreed. "Like you'd even KNOW, Shiz-nit!"

Shizuki blushed and turned to his driving. He was a bit angry at that comment, but he would never admit it. "Never mind!"

They drove in silence for a few minutes, til Mizuki said, "There! Done!" Then she leaned over to Sano and cuddled up against him.

She held the journal in front of her and stroked the cover. "Mom gave this to me, and I've been writing in it. Every day. It's all my thoughts about our baby and us."

She looked up at him. "I didn't really believe I'd ever see you again. But I thought if I ever did, you might be disappointed that you missed out. So, I wrote to you every day. I wrote you every day." He patted her head and opened the journal and began to read.

As he read, he held her tightly to him, and stroked her hair. He read of her daily heartbreak – all for his sake. All for him. He held her and read, and held her. He whispered into her hair, "I love you, Mizuki. I love you." She lay her head on his chest and sighed.

"Hey! No fooling around in the back seat!" Shizuki called out.

"Yeah!" Julia agreed. "It's not fair to those of us who have to do the driving!" She realized what she had said, turned red and turned her whole body to look out the window, so that Shizuki couldn't see her blush. She didn't realize that Shizuki was blushing and focusing really hard on the road.

Sano and Mizuki laughed in the backseat and cuddled some more.

X X X END CHAPTER X X X


	21. Chapter 21 Together

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hana Kimi or any of its characters.  
However, if you want to blame anyone for taking this incredibly pure and sweet manga and making it hentai, that'd be me. Please don't sue. I don't own anything to make suing me worthwhile anyway.

ALL KNOTTED UP INSIDE - A Hana Zakari No Kime Tachi E fanfiction

CHAPTER 21

Vegas. The Stratosphere Hotel.

They checked in at the front desk. Their bags were carried to their rooms. And the girls said their goodbyes to the men and went off to the spa and to shop. The men went off to take care of their respective tasks as well.

Three hours later, at the top of the Stratosphere, Sano, Shizuki, and Gilbert were standing in handsomely tailored tuxedos. Eiko, Lisa, and Julia were all wearing beautiful new blue dresses – Eiko's was navy, Lisa wore aqua, and Julia wore ice-blue. They were all smiling, and soft strains of Vivaldi filtered down to them. The door opened and Mizuki came in on the arm of Takumi. Sano gasped – she was the perfect Japanese bride in her white kimono, her hair worn up, the dark brown offset with jeweled combs and a few small flowers.

The girls had spent an hour at the spa. Then, as Mizuki's hair and makeup was being completed, the other three had gone shopping for their lovely dresses.

Meanwhile, the boys had gotten fitted for tuxes, then gone off to play some poker until just before the ceremony. Sano was up 200, Takumi and Gilbert had stopped at about 20 loss, and Shizuki was up about 50 when they realized they needed to go get ready.

But back to the wedding…

As she came down the aisle, Sano found his heart racing. Just before she entered the room, a part of his brain was freaking out and thinking, 'I'm only 18! Do I really want to get married?' And then she walked in, and all he felt was, 'I am the luckiest man that ever lived.'

The wedding took place on the terrace, surrounded by sky. But all Sano saw was Mizuki.

They said their vows, then the officiant took a rope to tie their hands together – a symbol of their lives being forever tied together. Sano stopped the officiant and held something out to him. "If you don't mind, can you use this instead?" It was one of their school neck ties. Mizuki blushed, as Sano continued. "It has… special meaning." The officiant nodded and used the tie to continue the ceremony.

He pronounced them man and wife, and they kissed, their hands still tied together, resting on her belly and the promise of their future together.

Once the photos were taken, they retired to a private room in one of the Stratosphere's restaurants for a wedding feast. During dinner, they talked about how they would have another ceremony the next year in Japan, once Mizuki and the baby could fly, with Sano's parents and all their school friends.

After dinner was complete, Sano and Mizuki danced their first dance as man and wife. Eiko and Takumi joined in after snapping a few photos. Then Gilbert grabbed Julia's hand and dragged her toward the floor. She looked back over her shoulder at Shizuki, but he missed the look she gave him. When he looked up and saw Gilbert dancing with her, he slammed back a whole glass of champagne and pulled Lisa out to dance, too.

Sano and Mizuki spent the whole night just staring at each other and blushing. That is, until Eiko pulled Mizuki aside and told her that she didn't have to stay at the reception any longer.

Takumi handed to Sano the key to their room, hugged him and said, "We are honored to have you in our family," and bowed to Sano.

Sano bowed in return and said, "No. It is I who am honored, Ashiya-san."

"It's Takumi," he responded. "Or haven't you figured out yet that we don't really stand too much on ceremony." He winked at his new son-in-law, and Sano laughed.

Mizuki tossed her bouquet and Julia caught it. And blushed from head to toe and wouldn't look at Shizuki. But he was too busy not looking at her and not thinking about how she was probably wearing ice blue panties under that ice blue dress to notice her reaction.

Sano and Mizuki left shortly after that and retired to their honeymoon suite. They were followed shortly after by a giggling Eiko and Takumi, who looked almost as cute as the newlyweds. Once they were gone, Lisa said she was gonna go down to the casino – she hadn't had a chance to do any gambling yet. Gilbert said that sounded like a good idea to him, and he followed after.

That left Shizuki and Julia.

Shizuki was more than just tipsy by this point. Julia went over and sat down next to him. She'd had a few herself, but not enough that she didn't notice that Shizuki should probably stop or he'd regret it the next day.

"Sad about losing your little sister?" she asked, sitting down next to him and patting him on the arm.

He looked up startled, then looked around and saw that everyone had left the room. "Nah. Yeah. I mean, she was gonna get married someday. And you're right. Sano's a good guy. And he knows if he screws up, I'd kickizASS!" He reached for the bottle of champagne to pour himself another glass.

She put her hand on his, halting its movement. "Shizuki, I think you've had enough."

He turned to her, his eyes a few inches from hers flashed with anger, and said, "Enough of what, Ju-ju?" She jumped back, startled, her heart pounding. And he turned and grabbed the champagne bottle and filled her glass, then his own. "You're probably right," he sighed and held his glass firmly. "Just this one glass more, and then I'll… go back to my room. Alone.

"You were right you know. I don't know about women." He looked into his glass. "I'm an idiot."

She touched him on the shoulder. "Shizuki-kun, I didn't mean-"

He held up the glass in a cheers pose. "So let's drink to our success. We pulled it off, didn't we? We really did make a great team." He smiled awkwardly at her, and she raised her glass and clinked it with his.

"To us." She said, and smiled at him.

"To us!" He agreed and grimaced and downed the whole glass.

"Shizuki-kun…"

"Why do you call me that now?" He asked, putting one hand on her shoulder? "Why not Shi-kun or even Shiz-nit? Why can't you call me…" He frowned and ran his hand through his hair. "What was I saying?... Oh! Yeah. I was going to go to my room after I had another glass. He grabbed the bottle to pour another glass.

"Shizuki, you already had another glass," she went to push his hand away from the bottle, and he grabbed onto her hand, pulling it in front of his face and looking at it closely.

"Even your fingers…" he mumbled, stroking her hand with the other, "…so pret-" He cut himself off and dropped her hand, holding both of his own up and to the side, like he'd touched something hot. "Sorry. I think I should go back to my room."

He pushed his chair back and attempted to stand up. Attempted. He stumbled, and she rushed to his side to catch him, but with his extra size, they both ended up stumbling backwards until her back was against a wall, and he was leaning with one hand on each of her shoulders, and his forehead pressed against hers.

She looked up at him, and he looked down at her ice blue eyes. Why did that color keep haunting him? Her cheeks flushed, and she continued to fall into his eyes. He leaned down further, whispering her name like she was a ghost haunting him. "Julia." She tilted her head up to his, felt his breath on her cheek as he leaned in…

Then he pulled back, not looking at her. He ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry. Lost my balance. Guess I really did have too much, huh?"

She stood there breathing heavily for a bit, then put his arm around her shoulder and said, in a business-like tone, "Okay, big boy, let's get you back to your room for come coffee and a nap."

'Damn, damn, damn!'

'I can't! I can't! She's just… It'd be wrong. She's my little sister's incredibly smart and beautiful and amazing… It'd be wrong.'

'It'd be wrong. He's drunk. He's upset. He doesn't know what he's doing… But what's gotten him so upset anyway? Poor Shiz-nit. Shi-kun…'

They walked back to his room in silence. It took a couple minutes, but Shizuki finally found the key, and Julia helped him slide it into the door slot so that the room would open. Then, she walked him into the room, and sat him on the bed, went over to the phone and ordered up a pot of strong coffee, two large bottles of water, and 4 aspirin.

Once that was done, she turned back to Shizuki, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. She crouched in front of him until he noticed her.

"Ice blue," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Uh. Nothing."

"Well," she replied, "We can't have you sleeping in your rental. Lean back." He braced himself into a sitting position with his arms behind him, propping him up, and she stood in front of him, and untied his tie. Then she pulled off his jacket. She had to sit next to him to help hold him up as she pulled the sleeves off, but she succeeded in removing the jacket with no real problems.

She leaned forward and started unbuttoning his shirt. He looked up to see her swallow in a large gulp and then furrow her brow, concentrating on what she was doing.

He lifted one hand and ran it along her face, making her turn and look at him. "You're so pretty," he mumbled. "Do you even know that?" Her eyes widened. His hand left her face and lightly grasped her shoulder. "You're boooooooful." His head fell forward and his hand dropped to his lap. "It mayce me sad."

"Wh- wh- Why? Does that… make you sad?" her breath was coming very rapidly now.

"Cuz I… cah nevrr… mrmrmmmmm …you…" With that, he slumped forward, asleep.

She gently eased him to the bed, and took a couple minutes to regain her composure. Then she unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way. She had to roll him to get the shirt off him, but he was out cold. Once that was off, she looked at his tuxedo pants.

She swallowed hard. 'I'll take off his shoes!' she thought. 'Yeah. Those have to come off first.' She untied them and slipped them off, and he sighed in his sleep.

'He thinks I'm beautiful?' She walked up to the bed and sat next to his hip. She looked at his bare chest and gulped. 'He can never WHAT me? What was he saying?' Her hand reached out toward his firm shoulder of its own accord. She pulled it back, 'What am I DOing?' She sat up straight.

She went over to his suitcase and opened it, pulling out a pair of pajama pants for him. She turned back to the bed. 'It doesn't mean anything. Just because I've had a crush on the guy for as long as I can remember, and just because we've been working together for the past four months and even though I've been worried about Mickey, I've been so hap-' She stopped herself. 'I have NOT been happy. Okay. I haven't. Let's just get these pants off him and get his pajama pants on, and then we'll get him some coffee and aspirin, and…' She took a deep breath.

'First things first. Pants.' She steeled herself and walked to the bed. Her hands hovered just above the waistline, and she hesitated for a second. Then she firmly grabbed hold of the waistband and undid the button there. She very cautiously, tooth by tooth, began to unzip the zipper – afraid that something might get caught if she did it any quicker. She was so focused on her goal that she didn't see his eyes open.

He saw her kneeling next to him on the bed, unzipping his pants.

'I'm not supposed to have these dreams,' he thought. 'So why do they keep on getting more and more…' He grabbed each of her wrists and pulled them up toward him. She lost her balance and now was on hands and knees over him on the bed.

"Shizuki, what are you doing?"

"MY dream. Shouldn't have it. But it's MY dream." He leaned up and kissed her, wrapping his arms around his ice blue princess.

She tried to pull away at first. He was drunk. He didn't know what he was doing. But when he kissed her, all rational thought left her. She moaned into his kiss, and he moaned back. His hands ran down her back as she lay on top of him. The kiss continued on and on, their tongues playing and licking at each other.

'This is the best dream,' he thought.

And then there was a knock on the door. "Room service!"

"Damn it," Julia muttered and pulled back. Shizuki froze in place. She climbed off him and opened the door, to let in the Hispanic woman with a tray holding a pot of coffee, two cups, cream, sugar, two large bottles of water, and two travel packs of aspirin. The woman placed the tray on the desk, and Julia said, "He's had a bit too much to drink," as she signed the room service receipt. The woman nodded and smiled, and left. Julia locked the door behind her.

'It wasn't a dream!' "Julia, um…"

"Shi-kun, why don't you try to take those tuxedo pants off and put on your pajamas, and then we'll try to take care of you so you don't get a hangover. Okay? I'll be right back." She practically ran into the bathroom, the door closed behind her. She leaned over the sink and looked up at herself in the mirror. "What was I thinking?" she muttered to herself. "He doesn't like me like that. What was I thinking?" She sat on the edge of the bathtub and put her head in her hands. She had started to cry.

Back in the other room, Shizuki managed to get his tux pants off, and get the pajamas on, but they did nothing to hide his erection. He mentally willed it to go away.

Julia hadn't come out of the bathroom yet, so he poured himself a cup of coffee. Before he took a sip, though, he opened up one of the bottles of water and chugged. Then he took two aspirin and started to drink some coffee.

'I can't believe…' he touched his lips. 'I kissed her! God she felt so good. Just like I… No. I never imagined kissing her. She's my little sister's friend. She's so beautiful. Why can't I control myself around her? I'm supposed to be a doctor. Why can't I… Why hasn't she come out of the bathroom?

'God, she must be upset at me. I took advantage of her!' He stood up quickly and almost fell down. Then he stood up slowly but purposefully and walked to the bathroom door. He knocked on it, and it swung inward.

She started and lifted her face at him. It was streaked with tears.

"Julia, I'm so sorry." "Shizuki, I'm so sorry." They both spoke at once. Then they stopped and looked at each other.

In stereo where available:

"What are YOU sorry for?"

"I took advantage of you."

"No, I took…"

They realized it seemed like something of a sketch on a bad sitcom, and they both stopped and took a deep breath. Shizuki sat down next to her.

"You must think I'm just a dirty pervert."

Julia looked at him in shock. "Then you must think I'm a horrible…" She looked away and started to cry again. "I just… For so long… I wanted…" She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes and faced him. "I took advantage and kissed you while you were drunk and didn't know any better. I'm sorry, Shizuki. I shouldn't have… I shouldn't have…" She let the words trail off and a tear glistened on his cheek.

"No. It was me. I leaned up and kissed you. It's my fault, not yours. I was so envious that I drank too much, and you've been an angel for trying to take care of this old man. You didn't even get to… go do anything fun with…"

She looked at him and cocked her head at him. "You were envious of Sano and Mizuki?"

"NO! Not them! Gilbert!" He blushed and looked away. "I should have realized that I'd been… you need to be with people closer to your own age..."

She let the age comment slide, because she was still confused. "Why on earth would you be envious of Gilbert?" She looked at him dumbfounded.

His blush deepened and he wouldn't look at her.

"Shi-kun, you're not making any sense. Maybe we need to get you back in bed."

"I'm not drunk any more," he declared. "I'm just an old, tired idiot." He paused. "Why do you bother trying to take care of me? Is it because of Mizuki?" He blushed again. "Ju-ju, why are you here instead of having fun with Gilbert?"

She sat up straight, and thought, 'It can't be!' She smiled and said, "Because you're my favorite Shiz-nit."

"What does that MEAN?" he asked. "Shiz-nit. I know it's gotta mean something because of how Lisa always laughs when you call me that. Wait. I'm your favorite?..."

She paused before answering. "You've never asked me that before. It's the latest ghetto slang for 'shit'. It's like I'm calling you a…" She swallowed with a gulp. "A little shit… I'm sorry. It seemed funny the first time, and then, you didn't know and it annoyed you so well, and… then… Well you just always make me so frustrated!" She worked herself up and by the end she turned to accuse him. It was his own fault. If he didn't …BOTHER… her so much, she'd never have come up with that for him.

"I'm your favorite shit? I make YOU frustrated?" He laughed. He laughed so hard he fell off the side of the tub. Then he laughed at himself. "Maybe I am still a bit drunk. Uptight, boring Shizuki makes the beautiful princess of ice blue frustrated!" He laughed and placed his forehead on her knee. "That's so funny!"

"Princess of Ice Blue?"

He stopped laughing and sat up straight.

"WHAT does THAT mean!" She slapped his shoulder.

"OW! Nothing. Nothing. It means nothing." She slid down off the tub next to him and slapped him again.

And again. And again. "You think I'm an Ice Princess? You think I'm… You think I'm…"

He grabbed her wrists and thought, 'This feels familiar. Isn't this how this started?' But what he said is, "Ow! Stop hitting me! Ow! Underwear, okay? Underwear!"

She stopped hitting him and said, "Underwear?"

"Yes. Okay? Now you're going to know exactly how much of a pervert I am, but yes, underwear. Ice blue, lace underwear. Underwear that I can't stop thinking about, on a girl that I can't stop thinking about, and I'm an old pervert! There! Are you satisfied now?"

She pulled back from him and crossed her arms to hold herself in. "How did you know I have ice blue, lace underwear?"

'See. I knew it. Now she's disgusted by me.' "You were wearing them the day Mizuki came back, and, after you tackled me…" She nodded her head and blushed, remembering.

She looked over at him, sitting there, looking so ashamed of himself.

"Shizuki." He looked up at her. "I'm 18."

Confusion filled his expression.

"I'm… Shizuki, if I told you that… Never mind." She leaned over to him and kissed him, wrapping her arms around him.

He froze up when she kissed him, then relaxed into it. Then pushed her away.

"What are you doing?"

She looked up at him. 'Did I misinterpret what he said?' Her eyes that looked up at him were a bit scared. Still, she boldly faced him and said, "Shizuki, if you turn me out of here tonight, I'm going to go back to my room and cry myself to sleep." Then she stood up and walked back into the bedroom portion of the hotel.

He stood up slowly, and followed her into that room, a bit scared of what he'd find. When he got there, she had removed her dress and was sitting, legs crossed, at the table in an ice blue lace bra and panties, and her high heels, nothing more, sipping on her bottle of water. Her eyes blazed at him defiantly. "Ice Blue Princess?"

"Oh. My. God!" His eyes couldn't have moved off her if he'd tried. 'I'm dreaming. This can't be real.' He stumbled as he walked forward, and she jumped up to catch him. Their bodies collided, and he leaned down and kissed her. She kissed him back. 'She's kissing me back!'

Hands on her waist, he lifted her to him, and she wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He moaned into the kiss, and she returned it. He carried her to the bed, and her hands roamed up and down his back. He kissed her neck, her shoulder. She nibbled on his ear and moaned, "Oh, Shi-kun!" sending shivers down his spine.

He laid her on the bed, and hovered over her, kissing down her neck to her chest, which he touched tenderly, gently, and she moaned his name, "Shizuki."

He stopped. He looked at her. "I'm not just dreaming this again, am I?" She shook her head no. He closed his eyes and breathed in relief. "Oh, Julia, Julia…" He continued to explore her body, stopping every few minutes to make sure she was alright, that it was real.

Finally, she got frustrated. She grabbed his wrists and pulled them down so he was on hands and knees. Then she made him roll over so that she was on top. She held his wrists in still against the mattress as she kissed him forcefully. Then she licked down his neck, crawled over him, licking down the center of his torso, letting her tongue dart in and out of his belly button – which made him gasp. She took care of him until he stopped her and turned her around.

"Julia, I'd like to take this further, but I don't have a condom on me. And I doubt you have one…"

She shook her head no.

"It's probably best for us to go a bit more slowly anyway. But I definitely don't want to make love to you without a condom – because when I propose to you, I want you to know I'm doing it only because I love you. I don't want you to ever think that it's just because you and I went too fast."

She couldn't resist. "When you propose?"

He blushed and looked away. 'Oh my god. He meant it. He loves me!' "You know what I meant."

She nodded and thought, 'I love you too, Shizuki.'

She snuggled up next to him, with her head on his shoulder.

"I really could get used to you taking care of me, Ju-ju."

"Me, too, Shiz-nit. Me, too."

They pulled the covers over themselves and fell asleep. They didn't even wake up when Gilbert came back to the room that he was supposed to be sharing with Shizuki – a fact that the couple had completely forgotten – saw them, grabbed his suitcase and went to knock on Lisa's door. She hadn't found anyone in Vegas, so she let him take the extra bed there. Where nothing happened except sleep.

X X X END X X X

You may want to know what happened on the wedding night. But there are some things that are too private. I'll continue telling the story of Mizuki and Izumi a bit later on. I'll be picking it up with a 9-month pregnant Mizuki and I'll take you through her giving birth.

But not today… Maybe later.


End file.
